The White Knight's Song - Lewis Carroll

I'll tell thee everything I can;
There's little to relate.
I saw an aged aged man,
A-sitting on a gate.
"Who are you, aged man?" I said,
"And how is it you live?"
And his answer trickled through my head
Like water through a sieve.

He said, "I look for butterflies
That sleep among the wheat:
I make them into mutton-pies,
And sell them in the street.
I sell them unto men," he said,
"Who sail on stormy seas;
And that's the way I get my bread—
A trifle; if you please."

But I was thinking of a plan
To dye one's whiskers green,
And always use so large a fan
That they could not be seen.
So, having no reply to give
To what the old man said,
I cried, "Come, tell me how you live!"
And thumped him on the head.

His accents mild took up the tale:
He said, "I go my ways,
And when I find a mountain-rill,
I set it in a blaze;
And thence they make a stuff they call
Rowland's Macassar-Oil—
Yet twopence-halfpenny is all
They give me for my toil."

But I was thinking of a way
To feed oneself on batter,
And so go on from day to day
Getting a little fatter.
I shook him well from side to side,
Until his face was blue:
"Come, tell me how you live," I cried,
"And what it is you do!"

He said, "I hunt for haddocks' eyes
Among the heather bright,
And work them into waistcoat buttons
In the silent night.
And these I do not sell for gold
Or coin of silvery shine,
But for a copper halfpenny,
And that will purchase nine.

"I sometimes dig for buttered rolls,
Or set limed twigs for crabs;
I sometimes search the grassy knolls
For wheels of hansom-cabs.
And that's the way" (he gave a wink)
"By which I get my wealth—
And very gladly will I drink
Your Honour's noble health."

I heard him then, for I had just
Completed my design
To keep the Menai bridge from rust
By boiling it in wine.
I thanked him much for telling me
The way he got his wealth,
But chiefly for his wish that he
Might drink my noble health.

And now, if e'er by chance I put
My fingers into glue,
Or madly squeeze a right-hand foot
Into a left-hand shoe,
Or if I drop upon my toe
A very heavy weight,
I weep, for it reminds me so
Of that old man I used to know—
Whose look was mild, whose speech was slow,
Whose hair was whiter than the snow,
Whose face was very like a crow,
With eyes, like cinders, all aglow,
Who seemed distracted with his woe,
Who rocked his body to and fro,
And muttered mumblingly and low,
As if his mouth were full of dough,
Who snorted like a buffalo—
That summer evening long ago
A-sitting on a gate.

wrezzzad42@gmail.com remove those 3 zs, or wrezzzad will get your mail.

[Oct 01 2002, last modified Mar 13 2019]

10,000 sided dice (+26, -7)
1942 Motorcycle Jetski (-1)
3D Ghost TV (-1)
4 guns at once! (+4, -1)
Academic Publication Degrees of Kevin Bacon (+5, -2)
Accelerometer based 3d world: Buckethead's adventure (+3)
Accordion toilet seat sleeve (+2, -1)
Acetone Gel face treatment (+3)
Acetone wet haystack engine (+3, -1)
Acidulated cat litter (+3)
Acorn Harvesting Technique (+1)
Acrobat Accretion Superhero (+10, -1)
Ad hoc vaccine (+4)
Adapt the HB engine (+4, -1)
ADD Focus: energy drink for little kids (+6, -4)
Adhesive Pimplebaker (+3, -1)
Adopt a tank (+5, -1)
Advertisement casino (+3, -1)
Aerial Aura Photography (+1, -1)
Affirmative action for the obese (+3, -8)
Aikido Cologne (+6, -1)
Air bag inflatable mannekin (+11)
Airdrop Fireworks (-1)
All-Button Dress (+15, -4)
All purpose Add-on Dixie Cup Genitals (+8, -3)
All purpose license (0)
All wind Depeche Mode cover band (+4, -4)
Allergen pacifier (+3, -1)
Altered Font (0)
Alternative target patches for fencing jackets (+7)
Aluminum Can Lithic Mulch (+4)
Aluminum can shingle (+9, -2)
Aluminum tongue stud (-2)
Amateur scriptwriting (+1, -1)
American Goodwill Family Photos (+7, -5)
Anabolic experiences (+1)
Anal valve device (-1)
Anarchic competitive team sports (+1)
Angle cut book pages (+16, -3)
Animatronic cell phone (+1, -1)
Anonymous doppelganger database (-1)
Anti-CPAP for competitive athletes (+4)
Antibiotics: back to the well. (+1, -1)
Antidrone bullet (+2, -1)
Antierythropoetin antibody to fight cancer (+3, -1)
Antioxytocin (+2)
Any-ammo Minigun (+12, -3)
Aortic pulse rocking mattress (+5)
Arch riflery (0)
Artificial Urban Forest (+6, -5)
Artificially intelligent unnatural prostheses. (+4)
Aspirin rattle (+3, -1)
Assigned Haitian (+4, -2)
Asteroids: Gravitation (+3)
Astrologonomy (+4, -1)
Atlantic 1000 Hair Bodifying Spray (+7, -5)
Atmospheric softener (0)
Audio computer connection (+3, -2)
Autodestruct sequence for Windows (+1, -1)
Autogoogly eyes (+4)
Autoharp Beer (0)
Automated door knocker (+3, -1)
Automatic bat weapon (+3)
Automobile Asphalt Harvester (+8, -7)
Baby Belly Bed (+6)
Baby Name Cultural Indicator (+1)
Baby seat harness adaptation (+1)
Bacardi mothball emergency fuel kit. (+6, -2)
Backseat child harness (-1)
Bagbong (+19, -2)
Bagpipe Pants (+12, -2)
Balanced bowling ball sculpture. (+5)
Bald head temporary tattoo (+4)
Ball Lightning Wine (+7)
Balloon Archery Skeet (+27, -1)
Bank bone marrow from organ donors (+10)
Banked body shots (+10, -1)
Bar code poker (0)
Basement kit (0)
Basket Bed (+3)
Batting average (+1)
Be the Flywheel (+10, -1)
Beanball (+2)
Beautiful Ultimate Athletes (+2, -6)
Bedbugs: be the bait (+6)
Beer Bottle Lawn Darts (+5)
Beer duck (+16)
Ben Hur Skateboard Hubcaps (+13)
Bendy cig (+7, -6)
Bernoulli Balloon (+1)
Bernoulli Nose Blower (+5)
Better hemoglobins for legumes (+5)
Bicycle tambourine (+5, -1)
Big Bob Car Dog (+1)
Big Oed Electronic Dict (-1)
Big Pocket Pants (+2, -1)
Biologic Cultural Warfare (+1, -1)
Black rubber hubcaps (+5)
Blinkproofing (+3)
Blood doping for students (+3)
Bloodco (+2)
Blownose Buddy (+1)
Blue Caricature (+7, -1)
Boat hammock (+2, -1)
Body charge bug zapper (+3, -2)
Body scanner erotica (+12, -4)
Boiling fountain skyscraper sculpture (+23, -1)
Bomb the ocean floor (+9, -14)
Bone Saw Nail Cutter (+2, -1)
Book recommendations (+1)
Booze buster pills (+1, -1)
Bouncing Bug Bulb (+7, -1)
Bowl-spanning Rubber Dung (+5)
Bowling atlatl (+4, -2)
Brick Pinata Bullfighting (+2)
Bright Vision Goggles (+9)
Brown Recluse Control (+3, -3)
Bruise tattoo (+9)
Brush tip felt tip. (+16)
Bullet-tipped arrow. (+3, -4)
Bummime (+3, -1)
Bumtarp (+1, -1)
Bung Lung (+3)
Burnable Brass Brush (+8)
Burner timers (+11, -2)
Burr advertising (+9, -1)
Burrito kill tally belly stamp (+6)
Butterfly Cell Phone (+6)
Buttonry Booth (+16)
Buy out the Gazans (+6, -9)
Cadaver WetVac (+5, -7)
Californada (+3)
Can Phone Mute (+3)
Cancer fighting Cancer (+1)
Candid Census Camera (+5)
Cannabanoid receptor antagonist for motivation (+1)
Cannon seeder (+8)
Car DNA (+2)
Carbon sequestration via plastic (+5, -3)
Cash transfer machine (+2, -1)
Casting with bow and arrow (+18)
Castor cane (+1, -1)
Catalogue with parts, and problems their defects cause (+5)
Cede Southern Lebanon to Syria (+3, -5)
Celebrity Sperm Racing (+13, -2)
Cell macro button (+2)
Cell phone handle (+5)
Cell tower watch (+6, -2)
Cellphone lanyard and hook (-1)
Cellulosic ethanol with help from hard radiation (+4)
Cemetery Playground (+53, -5)
Champagne chocolate (+10)
Charcoal enriched fields (+11)
Charcoal Freedom pencil (+2)
Cheap water Irradiation (0)
Cherry Picking Channel (+3)
Child Midwives (+4)
Chili-specific pepper spray. (+10)
Chordnamer app (+3)
Christmas tree ornament net (+4)
Christmas Tree Roots (+3)
Chuck head sewing needle (+7)
Cinch tool (0)
Cinderella toilet paper (+1, -3)
Citizen Car Boot (+1, -3)
Classically pointless activity done well (+5, -1)
Clathrate Bomb (+6, -3)
Clear Garden Globe (+3)
Climbing wall art (+8)
Clip on seat (+4)
Clip-on SUV shell (+4, -1)
Clock icon for powerpoint (+5, -2)
Clockwork bathroom fan (+2)
Clockwork Parade Horse (+8)
Clown Bicycles (+3)
CO-doped blood as paint (-1)
Coat backpack (+7)
Coin Charity High Scores (+2)
Cold air balloon (+3)
Cold screwdriver (+1)
Collapsible Motorcycle Helmet (+3, -4)
Colorized Disney Classics (+2, -4)
Combination taser / defibrillator (+11)
Command and Conquer: World War Z (+5)
Commensal computer virus (+1)
Communicate with Bloop (0)
Compressed air water cannon (+6, -2)
Compressed coil spring catapult (-1)
Compressed water weedwhacker (+11, -2)
Computer genetic diversity (0)
Concentric coins (+1)
Concert as play and the new cultural evolution. (-1)
Connected racing bikes (+2, -1)
Connecticut Yankee Steam Engine Challenge (+20, -1)
Converge english pronunciation on Microsoft Sam (+1, -6)
Cool hand pointer (+2)
Copper coated car tires (+39)
Copper coated kitty litter (+4, -2)
Cord Corliolis Countermeasure (0)
Cosmic ray protection (+1)
Country manager (+2)
County drug laws (0)
CPAP remediation for wind instrument playing laryngectomees. (0)
Create gasoline from natural gas. (+2, -8)
Creative Gas Logs (+6)
Crew served bow (+1)
Crow Music (+1)
Crow trash collectors (+13)
Cry Track (+10)
Crystal woodwind reeds (+1, -1)
Cull coin display (+7)
Cumulative Garbage Sculpture (+5, -1)
Cure receding gums (0)
Custom 3d printed flipflops (+4)
Custom edit DVD using the player (+4)
Custom faces for flash animation (+1)
Custom Movie Still Posters (+6)
CWHCO training. (0)
Cyclops glasses (+2)
Dagger thumbtack (+19, -1)
Daiquiri Cryonics (+5)
Dam Hudson Bay (+2)
Dance for yardage (+2)
Dance Prevention (+1)
Dark monocle (+2)
Darken the sky (+10, -5)
Darwin's HalfBakery (-1)
Dates on paper clips (+30, -1)
DC powered street scooters (+6, -1)
Dead Zone Remediation (0)
Decroative protective mask (+1)
Deepwater atmosphere generator (0)
Degreaser dip (+3)
Dehumidifying Antifire (+1, -1)
Delayed flipup blowfish (+2)
Demercurize the Whales (+2)
Depilatory cream hair clog dissolver (+7)
Deploy Beetle Bailey (+2, -2)
Depot Fluoride (+1, -2)
Desk chair Fan Dance (+8)
Desktop Electrostatic Motor (0)
Dialysis buddy (+4)
Diamond ring mail. (+8, -1)
Diaper lawns (+4)
Diaper life gauge (+4, -3)
Diaperbake (+1, -1)
Direct to speakerphone (+4, -1)
Directional vuvuzella (+4)
Directional wine glass destructor (+6)
Dirty Work Clothes Exhibit (+29)
DiscoBall CD Storage (+2)
Distributed Chinese Filter Busting (+6)
Dive Shop Chimes (0)
Divine Interloper (+4, -3)
Dodecablade (0)
Dog Beer (+1)
Dog claw digester polish (+1)
Dog goggles (+1, -1)
Dog Masseuse (+1)
Dog Pee Attenuator (+2, -1)
Dog repellent cat food (+1)
Dog soccer (+8)
Dolphin Sex Toys (+6, -2)
Downs World (+2)
Drain maggots (+2)
Dremel rotary finger bow (+4)
Driftnet weights (+1)
Drive from the sidecar (+1, -2)
Dry ice afterburner (0)
Dry ice pie crust (+3)
Drybags (0)
Drywall: stinky when moist (+8)
Duckling Ammo Shotgun (+40, -1)
Duelling sign flippers (+2)
Dung Control Beetles (+1)
Dungboiler! (+2)
Dyson windmill (0)
Easier 3d display (0)
Eau de Boss Dog (+2, -1)
Ebola quarantine cruise (+7)
EcoSink (+1)
Ecstasy, not ECT (+3)
EEG Biofeedback Kit (0)
Electrical field glow jewelry (+7, -1)
Electrical outlet museum (+1)
Electrical prostatism aid (+3, -1)
Electrified screens (+2, -1)
Electrostatic flat indicator (-2)
Element tarot deck (+3)
Elevator Overrider (0)
Elevator whistle (+21)
Eliminate P (-7)
Embryo colonists (+4, -1)
Energy Diet device for household appliances. (-1)
English words in other alphabets (-3)
Enrich fields with recycled paper (+6)
Epilepticar (+7, -1)
Equilateral triangle bridge (+2)
Ether brewed (+6)
Evangelical backmasking (+3, -1)
Exhaust accordion (0)
Expanding foam to fill bike tires (+6, -3)
Extend Nato Alphabet (0)
Extra long golf club (+3, -1)
Extreme Hoppity Hop (+4)
Extrusible Bumper Goo (+6, -1)
Eye bezels (+6)
Eye braces (+1)
Eyemakeup temporary tattoos (+5, -1)
Eyepressure Video (+6)
Fake Bluetooth Hearing Aid (+12, -1)
Fake Body Piercing (+4)
Fake Booger (-6)
Fake Fake Hair Candy (+8, -5)
Fake Hairy Mole Jewelry (+3, -1)
Fake Mom Breath SIDS prevention (+10)
Fake rubber ass (+4, -6)
Fake Tan Pen (0)
Fake Wireless Fun (+12, -4)
Fall preventing wallpaper (0)
Falling wrench organ fountain (+11)
Far Orbit Asteroid Defense Network. (-3)
Faraday Fabric (+4)
Fart Infusion (0)
Fashion beard net (+3)
Fertilizing the Open Ocean (+4, -1)
Fetophone (0)
Field of view expansion glasses (+1)
Fierce aromatherapy (+4)
Filtered virtual web via Google cache. (+1, -4)
Fingercot noisemaker (+4)
Firefighting bombs (+4)
Fireplace Cobra home heat adaptor (+7)
Fireproof Housedrape (+11)
Fitbit Cheat Challenge (+1)
Fixed bar swing (+4, -1)
Flame antenna (+15)
Flash Paper Bag of Urine (+7, -7)
Flasher / Mooner License (+8, -3)
Flat plane pencil sharpener (+14)
Flavaflem (+7, -7)
Flavored IV fluids (+4)
Flax, Okra, Kale, Hemp, Chia (+3)
Flea MagnoCat (+1)
Flexible oceangoing blimp tether (+3)
Floor grate in front of toilet (+7, -1)
Flower grenade (+7, -1)
Fluoridate kid drinks (-2)
Fluorometric tooth monitoring (0)
Fly eye water lens (+7, -1)
Flying solar chimney (+6)
Flypaper Machine (+13)
FlyPhone tourism (+1)
Flywheel pedal mulcher (+2)
Foam Bomb Fire Escapes (+12, -1)
Focusing curtain (+1)
Food DNA screening kit (+4)
Footbow ski (+7)
Forearm Crutch Mace (+3)
Forever car (+12)
Fork in Plug game (+8, -1)
Forseth Scrabble (+2, -5)
Fossil fuels without CO2 (-4)
Frisbee Hat adaptor (+10)
Front 'n Center Holster (+1, -1)
Frycubes (+5)
Full body bandolier. (+3)
Full body blowfish (+5)
Full Metal Wallet (+2)
Full spectrum window simulation (0)
Funnel chair (0)
Fuse the Sahara (+16, -8)
Garter belt with suit legs (+6)
Gas bomb car stopper (+3, -4)
Gas odorant (+2)
Gasoline toilet (+5, -5)
Gasoline wiper fluid (+7, -8)
Gaswash (+1)
Geiger gas (+7)
Gene therapy via intracellular parasite (+2)
Generic Oral Rehydration Salts (+2)
Genetic info database (+2, -1)
Gift bills (+8)
Girl musket company (+2, -2)
Glacier power (+3, -1)
Glass Paperclip (+24, -2)
Glass pool sunshade (+11)
Glasses mounted parabolic ear trumpets (+17)
Glory Hole Sticker (+5, -1)
Glue on glasses jewels (+2)
Glue on nail touch screen stylus (+2)
GMO intestinal commensals (0)
GMO Ocean Mineral Harvest (+1)
Go Diego Go: The Live Action Movie (+3)
Gobstopper Cigarette (+1, -1)
Good smelling house fungus (+6)
Google Earth Artillery (+35, -1)
Google map road trip (+4)
Gorillas for Molokai (+8)
Gourmet Grill Wood (+8)
GPS homing robot competition (+4)
GPS on the moon (+2, -2)
Granny Cam (0)
Gravitational engine (+1, -4)
Guess the date photo trivia contest (+5)
Gun app (0)
Gun parachute (+4)
Gust of wind asteroid diverter (+5, -3)
Gutter grass (+7, -2)
Guys cook. (+2, -6)
Gyroscopic antigravity (-2)
Hair qua Beard (+1, -2)
Hair scrounge mouse (0)
Hair Strong Soap (+4)
Hair Tug of War (+5, -1)
Hairclamp Hat (+8, -2)
Half-rhinestone blemish dressing (+8, -2)
Ham radio wireless networking (+3)
Hamsterball Robot Battle (+9)
Hamstring hurricanes via oil slicks (+4)
Handicapped toilet (+1)
Handwarmer app (+6)
Hark at the Moon (+3, -1)
Harness-seat beefy leg bike (+3)
Harness the Rant (+2)
Harrison Bergeron Concentration Aid (0)
Harvest the Earthquake (0)
Haunted particle accelerator (+1, -1)
Headrest Wig (0)
Health insurance buyback (+2)
Health insurance genetic discount (+1, -4)
Heat reservoir screw rocket (+1, -1)
Heated Legos (+3)
Heavy elevator bypass (+6)
Heisenberg's OCD Aide (+1)
Helmet Orthosis for Grownups (+5)
Helmet pomade (+4, -1)
Hepatic encephalopathy treatment (0)
Heterosexual Camp (+9, -26)
High Pressure Air Dry Cleaning (+1)
Highway to Hell (+4, -1)
HLA type all donated blood (+2)
Holiday Shadow Mobiles (+2)
Hollow planet perpetual motion machine (+4, -1)
Home Solar Charcoal Distiller (+13)
Homemade Leaf Blower Jetpack (+1, -5)
Honk Lock (0)
Hood mounted entry Punch (+1)
Horseradish balm (+3)
Hose Water. (+4)
Hot air furniture sterilizer (+7)
Hot sand bird bath (+7)
Hotness powered ship (-1)
"How do they look" image service (+2, -1)
Hum rings (0)
Human Eugenics (+1, -1)
Hurricane Diverter (-1)
Hydrophobic Slug Treads (0)
Ice Cream Vending Zorb (+3)
Ice erecting road nipples (0)
Iceberg steering device (+2, -1)
ICU Octopus (+2)
Image color sorter (+1)
Improve Cane Toad Predators (+2, -2)
Improved spermatogenesis (+1)
In character advertisements (+2)
Incontipants (+6, -3)
Incremental Liver Transplant (+7)
induction magnet / fluorescent bulb (+4)
Inflatashoes (+3)
Instant path (+5)
Insulin acupuncture (+9, -1)
Insurance database (0)
Integral wine glass straw (+3)
Integrate air conditioner and clothes dryer (+7)
Internal character scrambling rhyme assistant (+2)
Internal flame hydrogen balloon (+3)
Internet Voice of America (+5, -3)
Inverted solar tower (+4)
Ion cannon (0)
Ionic Gas Balloon (+4)
Iron powered engine (+2, -1)
Irradiated queen (+2)
Iterative laser strobe (+6, -2)
Iterative looped acapella performance (0)
Iterative space railgun (+4, -2)
J.E.T.T. (0)
Jesus Policy Forum (+6, -6)
Jesus takes over the family business (+15, -2)
Jet Ski Watergun (0)
Jiggle mounted jewels (+9, -2)
Jiggling reflected sunlight logo (+2)
Jihad spam (+5, -2)
John Henry Stapler (+7)
Judas Roach (+3)
Jumping rebar paperclip (+4)
Kauai chickens (0)
Keep fish fresh with radiation! (+8, -2)
Key urchin (+3)
Keyboard macro buttons (+1)
Keyboard Music Java (KMJ) (+1)
Keypress typewriter noise (+6)
Keystone Kops 2012 (+1, -1)
Kidapult (+3)
Kiddie Mower (+2)
Kitemill (+6)
Knee Brace App (+6)
Lactation weight loss (+2, -1)
Lake Death Valley (+9, -3)
Lake Megaswing (0)
Lake monster detection via free dna analysis (+5)
Landscape DVD (+6, -1)
Lard the ballot with protest alternatives (+2)
Laser toenail ablation (+4, -1)
Lawn Lotion (+5)
Lawnbake (0)
Leafblower Paintball Gun (+5, -2)
leafblower vortex attachment (+1)
Lice? home test kit (+2)
License coin makers (+3, -3)
Light activated robot vermin (+9)
Lighter than air macromolecule (+8, -2)
Lightning rod bleedoff (+1)
Lightpotty (+1)
Line Item Deletion (+1, -7)
Lint identity kit (+1)
Lintless duct blower (+7)
Lipstick technology diaper cream (+2, -1)
Liqueur hard candy (+3)
Liquid air delivery (+1, -1)
Liquid Crystal Contacts (+13, -2)
Living Lemon Battery Tree (+7)
Local poles for Mercator Projection Maps (+8, -1)
Locking compound bow (+4)
Locklets of Love (+4, -4)
Long shooting can adaptor heads (+1)
Long tieable shirttails (+6)
Looping toroidal phonograph record (+5)
Looverhead CD store (0)
Low tech underwater breather with reverse hookah CO2 scrubber (+2)
Mad Scientist Superhero Team (+6)
Magnetic flames (0)
Make December the shortest month. (+3, -9)
Make Fire with Your Own Fat (+19, -5)
Make San Francisco handicapped accessible (+2)
Make vaccines over the counter (+2)
Malassezia sunscreen for constitutionally photosensitive (+2)
Malice charity (+2, -2)
Manboob Buster (0)
Many Worms Mescal (+1, -3)
Map snoop site (0)
Mapparium: the CD Rom (+2)
Marijuana background checks (+3, -1)
Marker Keeper (+5)
Mass Political Asylum for Gay Iranians (+8, -6)
Mass Spec Fingerprinting (0)
Masters of the Mind (+2)
Mattress net (+3)
Meat Mulch (+4, -1)
Meat Tenderizer (0)
Mechanical induction cooker (0)
Mega worm bin (+20)
Memory stick Death Star (+30, -2)
Mercury vapor nuclear engine for Mars (+2)
Metal fluid suspension magnetic lavalamp (+2)
Metal heat-dispersing clothes (+4)
Metal timestamp watch (+4)
Microphone headphones (+2)
Microtome Meats (+16)
Microwave furniture steriliser (+2, -2)
Microwave magnet (+2)
Military weapon case qua backpack (+1, -1)
Milk flavoring (+1)
Mime sport (+1)
Mine desalinator brine (+2)
Minecraft Google Earth sync (+3)
Mineral butter (+2)
Minimal volume drum head (+6, -1)
Minoxidil body art (+8, -2)
Mist bidet (+5)
Mixed woods pencils (+4)
Modern Tap Dance (+9)
Modular Playground Sculpture (+7)
Mold sniffing dogs (+1, -2)
Molded paper pulp hats (+6)
Mole arrangement (+1)
Money Mods (0)
Moneymaking ways to use supermarket receipts (+3)
Monster catcher (+2)
Monster Tire Jambuster (+3, -4)
Moon VLO Device (+7, -1)
More dramatic range for second person shooter games. (+1, -2)
More Family Vinyl Decals (+11, -1)
More freedom of movement for orchestra conductors (+12)
Mortal Humpbat (+3, -3)
Moss-facilitating sculpture with integral wormbin (+6, -1)
Motion sensing sprinklers (0)
Motley Car (+4)
Motorcycle giveaway (+3, -1)
Motorcycle infant seat (+4, -2)
Motorfancycle (+1)
Mousse Extruding Comb (+7)
Movie stick (+1)
Mowed maze (0)
Mucus augmentation (+2)
Mud tires for tractors (-3)
Multi-tiered foldout platter (+3)
Multidimensional bone stereo (+3)
Multipart lens Fresnel glasses (+2)
Multiplayer fighting game macro (+1, -1)
Multiplayer Pinata (+2)
Muscular Dystrophy Exoskeleton (+2)
Mushbulb (+5)
Mustache postits (+9)
Mycroft Society (+8, -4)
Mylar Burnoose (-3)
n-dimensional Connect 4 (+4)
Nail fungus cure (+2)
Nailshroom (+1, -1)
Naked flame pool heater (+17, -6)
Name that town. (+6)
Nanoparticle titanium sunscreen (+1, -3)
Nasal stent (0)
National Guard Port Security (-2)
Neighborhood wireless (+7)
Nessie location device (0)
New code for old operating systems (+4, -2)
New Years Eve Ammo (+6)
Nitrogen breasts (+2)
Nitroglycerine tampons (+4)
Nitrous cream soda (+4, -1)
No cell phone dead areas (+1, -4)
No-electricity air conditioner. (+2, -3)
No frame big screen TV (+1, -2)
No moving parts vacuum cleaner (+16)
No screen showerhead (+4)
No stop signs for motorcycles (+3, -8)
No-tar cigarettes (+2, -3)
Noise Cancelling Voice Amplifier (0)
None-derwear (+14, -1)
Nonlethal home defense (+1, -1)
Nonviolent ant trap (0)
Nose breathing scuba regulator (+4)
Nose-shaped liquid soap dispenser (+16, -1)
Nuclear winter vs greenhouse effect (+3, -1)
Nude Detainee Cheerleading Interrogation (+18, -14)
Nuke Mars (+11, -3)
Null phone (+3, -2)
NYC foot ferry (0)
Nylon Medals (+1)
Obligatory pro forma insurance for American Cavemen (+2, -2)
Ocean diaper (0)
office camouflage (+14)
Old Food Scavenger Hunt (+6)
Old soundtrack new cartoon (0)
Onbutts (+4)
One Wheel Pinewood Car (+7, -2)
Online Furniture Rearrangement (+5, -1)
Online videogame brain damage therapy (0)
Onsite pelletizer for bulk kitty litter (+6)
Open Carry Panhandling (+4)
Open Carry Pants (+2)
Opinion polls for jurors (+16)
Origami moving fishing flies (+7)
Oxygen vape (+3)
Oxytocin amnestic as adjunct for minor procedure (0)
Pacifier Light (+1)
Pager holding Spider (+7)
Pager Mass Marketing (+1, -1)
Paintball Waterloo Re-Enactment (+3, -2)
PanArab Federation (+1, -2)
Paper mannikin (+5)
Parabolic dish guitar (+2)
Parabolic siren (+2)
Paraffin dog treats (+2, -2)
Pareidolia Drawing Game (+3)
Pasta spoons (+17, -1)
PDF powerpoint condenser (+3, -3)
Pedal Wheelchair (+11)
Perfect poop pill (+8, -3)
Perforated garden tiles (+4)
Perfume Depot (0)
Perfume Ices (0)
Perfume Magic Markers (+5, -2)
Peripheral Psychedelics (+5)
Permaflash (+2, -5)
Permaglow (0)
Perpetual Motion Machine (+10, -3)
Perpetual rocket top (+2)
Persona Obfuscation (+4, -3)
Pheromonal domestic violence prevention (+2, -1)
Phone blitz app (+1, -2)
Phone sex AI (0)
Phone sword (+3)
Phonecam translation (0)
Phoneticize all languages using the Internet (0)
Pierced Sac (+1)
Pig Arabic (-2)
Pillbox toothbrush caddy (+7)
Pirate repelling gas (+6, -4)
Pit Stop Makeover (+13)
Plant immunity (+2)
Plasma Rail Railgun (+9)
Platonic African Kibbutz (0)
Plywood pencil (+2, -2)
Pneumatic DungGun (+7, -3)
Pneumatic trebuchet (+2)
Political Baywatch (0)
Poopgarrotte (+13, -2)
Pop Rocks of Love (0)
Popproof Paper Bubbloon (+1)
Porsche Trebuchet (+2, -1)
Positivity Jenga (+7)
Pothole quickfix kit (+8)
Potty Bong Air Filter (+6)
Powdered artificial mucus (+6)
Power duster (0)
Power Rangers: The Musical (+11, -10)
Power Whack A Mole (+16)
Practice for brains in jars. (+6, -2)
Prerolled cig papers (0)
Press-on graffiti art (+8, -1)
Pressurized flower greener (+1, -3)
Pretattooed Undergarb (+6)
Princess Tiara Sunglasses (+11)
Print physician DEA # on opiate pills (+3)
Print posters on a standard printer (+5)
Prisoners Dilemma Solitaire (+8, -1)
Pro static spray (+4)
Program your monster (+4)
Project Florist (+5, -1)
Prostate cancer prevention with babies (+3, -1)
Proximity Text Messaging (+3)
Pruning Ammo (+7)
Pubic Hair Beads (+21, -3)
Pubic Hair Sticker (+1)
Public Access Phone Reminders (+3)
Puzzle Putty (+11)
Pyramidal Lego (+4, -1)
Pyramidal Protest Parasol (+12)
Pyrolithotrophs (+2)
Quack button (+4)
Radio GNAW (0)
Radioactive beta cream (-1)
Radiolabel the Martians (+1)
Radiosurgery for addictive behavior (-1)
RailBlunderBuss (+7)
Random Image Gin (0)
Random Image Screensaver (+19)
Ransom note font scrambler (+12, -2)
Rapid CD transfer device (+1)
Rational anti-rage drug (+3)
Reactive hard hat (+4, -1)
Rebar pen (+13)
Recycled crayon paint (+2, -1)
Recycled Pencil Sampler (+3)
Recycled starlet dress ties (+3)
Red heat pencil sharpener (+4)
Red light veinfinder (+10)
Relaxin potentiated orthodontia (+4)
Remake Star Trek (+9, -12)
Remote controlled predator submarine (-1)
Remote quality control via Internet (+5, -1)
Rename Haiti (+3, -4)
Resistance underwear (+2)
Resonant frequency app (+3)
Resume Repository (+1, -1)
Reverse fusion ion drive (+1, -2)
Reverse smartphone typing corrector (+1)
Reverse the sewers to cool Fukushima (+1, -1)
Reversed 2-pattern tie (+9)
Ring adaptor (+2, -1)
Ringbacked Rubber Gloves (+3)
Riot Floats (+3, -2)
River as heat sink (+5)
Roadkill refinery (+16)
Robber Width Estimator (+3, -2)
Robot Battle Tower Defense (+2)
Robot Radio Jukebox (0)
Rocket soap (+2)
Roller heels (+5, -1)
Rollermote (0)
Rolling fresnel sidewalk weeder (+15)
Rolling stencil basket (+4)
Rooftop Data Matrix device (+1)
Rootin Tootin Mutant Gluten (+3)
Rotary wiper (0)
Rotating skateboard pipe (+4)
Rubberized Dog Claw Polish (+9)
Russian doll shotgun shells (+2, -1)
Russian Easter Egg Ammunition (+5, -1)
Rusty Car (+30, -1)
Sand tablets (+11, -2)
Sandal destinker (+1)
Sarin Sweat Lodge (+3, -7)
Satellite hunting (+7, -2)
Saucegun (+5, -1)
Save the Desert Tortoise with fake tortoises. (+10)
Savory flavored dishwashing soap (+3, -2)
Screenclean Flamethrower (+11, -1)
Screw-link chain (+5)
Screwdriver Mandala Necklace (+7)
Scripted Audience Noise (+5)
Scrotal Fortification (+5, -4)
Second social security number (+1, -2)
Seizure site (0)
Self extinguishing cigarettes. (-1)
Seminal vesicle implants (+3, -3)
Semitransparent window (+2, -1)
Septic tank wicks (-1)
Sequester CO2 in the oceanic dead zones (+3, -5)
Set a thief to catch a thief (+3)
Sheet magnets (+2)
Shittoon (+7)
Shiva watch (+4, -1)
Shock bell (+1)
Shotguns in space (+8, -3)
Shower water salvager (+3)
Shredded truck tire roadkill sculpture (+4)
Shrunken Santa Head (+16, -1)
Siallogenic cat treats (+1)
Sickle Cell Treatment (0)
Siegebreaker balloon (+4)
Signal blocking cell phone case (+3)
Silver coins, not gift cards (+6)
Silver nitrate lube (+2)
Sing your Social Security (+4, -1)
Single frequency growlight (+3)
Singspoiler (0)
Skeet Defense (+9)
Skeet Pinata (+12)
Skinsecticide (+1)
Skipping sidearm catapult (+21)
Sliding scale plane seats (+3)
Sliding tile wall calendar (+2)
Slippery Hangman (+5)
Slobberproof show cigarette (0)
Slope Floor House (0)
Sloped pan (+3)
Slow developing bug stickers (+4)
Slow drip bottle drain cleaner (+6)
SmartPhone strap (+1, -2)
Smartplugs! (+6, -1)
Snore Hammock (+2)
Snuff puff lighter (0)
Sobering sluice (+12)
Soccer headbounce technique (+1, -7)
SodModule 2003 (0)
Soft and lovely hair shirt (+3, -1)
Soft Sculpture Nards (+3)
Solar forged swimming pool (+11, -1)
Solid antimicrobial fixtures (0)
Solute-based desalination (+2)
Solve grease deposits in sewers with ammonia (+4)
Sorority Junkyard Wars (+2)
Space shout (+5, -4)
Spam apples of discord. (-1)
Spark brake (+13)
Spark rifle (+8)
Speaking chips for disaster relief supplies (+7, -2)
Specialty Cocktail Wiener Variety Pack (+4)
Speedhunters (+1, -5)
Spent casing bead curtain (+15, -1)
Spherical bow (+5)
Spidercake (+2, -2)
Spike Jonesified music and shows (0)
Spiral kite rocket (+4)
Sponge sterilizer (+1)
Spray facilitator champagne attachment (+3, -2)
Spray on stubble (+12, -3)
Spreadfighter chair (0)
Spring loaded TP roll (+3)
Spring water ice (+7)
Stability high heels (+1)
Stadium electroshock Marco Polo (+6, -1)
Standing Wave Bead Chain Ornament (+6)
Stapler Duel (+3, -1)
State health insurance plans compete with private insurance (+1, -1)
Stationary hot air balloon-borne platforms (+18, -1)
Steal the trillion dollar coin (+11)
Steering wheel grip tape (+5, -1)
Stick on ticks (+1)
Stinkflowers (0)
Storm sewer cisterns. (+3)
Street-to-Mountain Tire Conversion (+6, -1)
Student Militia (+4, -2)
Study cancer prevention in pet animals (+3, -1)
Stump Shaker (+4, -3)
Subliminal confetti advertising (+4)
Subway guard rail (+5)
Sun tsu brake (+9, -6)
Superball Collectors! (+1, -2)
Superball shoes (+9)
Supercolony countermeasure (0)
Superconducting railgun projectile (+3, -2)
Supersimple reverse osmosis (+23, -4)
Surf with a stranger (+9, -1)
Sweet cucumber (+2)
Tab tones (+1)
Taser touch football (+7)
Tax Deductable HB (-1)
Tax Internet Porn (+4, -14)
Tellytubby Morlocks (+11, -1)
Temporary ball bearings (0)
Temporary credit cards (-1)
Term Limits For All (+4, -3)
Tesla Heavy (+1, -2)
Tetris Invaders (+3)
Text air traffic controller - with fonts (0)
Text edition history (+2)
Text only webpage (+6)
Thaw wiggler (+7, -1)
THC insecticide (0)
The Achilles Strain (+2)
The body odor genome project (+2)
The Changeling (+7, -1)
The cock punch cartoon show (+7, -2)
The End Time Machine (+6)
The Pencil: a sculpture exhibition (+1)
The Pirate King of Somalia (+12, -1)
The Zombie (+15, -1)
Therapeutic tattoo (+1)
Therapeutic Ticks (0)
Theremin Mouse2 (+3)
Thermite dry ice rocket (+8, -1)
Thermite powered steam car (+12, -1)
Thorny catnip (0)
Threadnuts (+1)
Three Gay Stooges (+2, -5)
Tiger painting (+1)
Tinnitus cure (+11, -1)
Tire armor (+2)
Tire Fur (+9, -1)
Tire Magnoguard (+1)
Tire whistlepig (+9, -1)
Toddler tats (+8, -2)
Toilet Overflow Dam (+8)
Toilet seat microphone (+15)
Toilet spray jet modification (+1, -2)
Tooth Artist (+6, -1)
Tooth Puller (+12, -2)
Total gut condom (+4, -2)
Touchpad trigger (+4, -2)
TP hybrid (0)
Track by track music purchases (+6)
Traffic tattler database (0)
Train detector (+1)
Train Ebola survivors as health care workers (+8, -1)
Transgendered Iraqi Politicians (+2, -3)
Transparent sun-focusing zeppelin (+5)
Transposons vs Cancer (+3)
Travel time homunculus map (+14)
Traveler nurse (+2)
Tree Booze (+8, -3)
Triclosan Tide (+1, -1)
Tromped L'Oeil Toilet B'Oeil (+2)
Tumbleweed Pants (+8, -1)
Tumbleweed trees (+2)
Tump Baby (0)
Tuned shotguns (+8)
Tuning Fork Vibrator (+13, -1)
Two-mouse computer fencing game (+9)
Ultrasonic Jello Drinking device (+4)
Ultraviolet augmented cooking (+1)
Underground Methane Farm (+3, -1)
Underwater horn (+2)
Underwater oil well fire (+2, -3)
Unusably Huge Caliber Pistol (+13)
Unused fiberoptic solar power (+6, -8)
Upside-down and backwards speedreading. (+1)
Urinary polymer (0)
Use the HB to understand Google (+1, -1)
UV penlight (0)
VacuuKettle (+1, -2)
Vacuum kernel hose ladder. (+1)
Vaporator airflow smoother (0)
Varicella vaccine causes childhood obesity (+1, -4)
Vegan Hair (+2, -3)
Vent the Atmosphere (+4, -7)
Very long golf tee (+1)
Very tall pinewood derby car (+3)
Vet Smell (0)
Vibrating miniwing (+3)
Vibrating shovel attachment (+29, -1)
Vibrating Toilet Plunger (+5)
Vibration lubrication machine (+2)
Vibration table mouse ouija (-1)
Video AI Therapist (+3)
Video sign language text translator (0)
Vinyl scratch simulator (+2)
Violet brake lights (+9)
Violet skinnies (0)
Violet Visible hand sanitizer (+1, -2)
Virtual zoo (+4, -2)
Viscoseal (0)
Vitiligo vs. Melanoma (+3)
Volcano nozzle (0)
"Vote of No Confidence" gun control. (+9, -12)
Wafflortia (+13)
Wall Waldo (0)
Warttoo (+5, -2)
Watchspring wheelchair (+2)
Water balloon parachute (+4)
Water Bottle Parachutes (+8)
Water circuit sprinkler freeze prevention (+3, -1)
Water Fireworks (+16, -1)
Water Fountain Flow Diverter (+1)
Watermelon snowcone (+4)
Wax Dredlocks (+2, -1)
Weapon uses for common items (+3)
Wedgie helmet (+2, -1)
Weight loss shopping service (+2)
Wheelchair IV rack (+3, -2)
Whistle flute (+1)
Whoopee valve (+3)
Wii mouse (+1)
Wiki Distributed Translation (+9, -2)
Wildbirth! (+2, -2)
Wile E Coyote, Buddhist (+17)
Window rolls (0)
Window to window string phone (+5)
Windshield Exhaust Diverter (+2)
Windup windmill Buddy (+3)
Word Macro Evolution Simulation (+13)
Wrist loop for sword (0)
Xenon Breathers (+5, -1)
Yin and yang paperclip (+15, -1)
Zombie chase game (+5)
Zombie computer army volunteers (+3)
Zombie deodorant (+17, -1)
Zombie Paintball (+21, -1)
Zoo Action Perfume (+10, -5)

random, halfbakery