Body scanners are coming. They show your privates! But maybe your privates are beautiful? Could one make art from fear, technology and the beauty of the human body?? We all know the answer is yes, and now!
I propose that body scanners be used to make a series of purposefully erotic images. The artistic genius of the artiste will be revealed, among other things, in how the prosaic images generated by these scanners are made sensual.
This series would be commissioned by a lingerie company whose products will be worn by the model. The images will be in the public domain and will be so compelling as to become a common reference point for the fearful changes in the new millenium. Every image will also contain a reference to the sponsoring company which means free advertising!-- bungston, Jan 06 2010 Body scanning http://thepersonals...-your-private-parts [bungston, Jan 06 2010] Scanners http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0081455/Not this kind. [bungston, Jan 06 2010] MRI video of coitus http://www.youtube....watch?v=OVAdCKaU3vYThis IgNobel-prize-winning piece of research is perhaps a cousin of your idea [imaginality, Jan 06 2010] I just want to defray some of the costs Full_20Mental_20Jacket [theircompetitor, Jan 07 2010] Clothing_20Optional_20Airline [hippo, Jan 07 2010] I always said we should hold out for Terahertz radiation.-- nineteenthly, Jan 06 2010 where is Ben Frost when he's needed?
he was drunk and in bed when I tried to link up with his london exhibition.-- po, Jan 06 2010 well [po], you should have shook him. ahem, uh... I don't particularly like this idea.-- dentworth, Jan 06 2010 I don't personally like the idea, but [+] for originality.-- FlyingToaster, Jan 06 2010 I don't mind being seen nood, but I'm buggered if anyone's going to see me hairless.-- MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 06 2010 I think this is hysterical. However...do I want to see it come to fruition? HELL NO! Hence the huge +-- blissmiss, Jan 06 2010 I'm planning to follow someone attractive into the scanner, and then amuse the crowd by yelling "That'll teach you" into anything that looks like a microphone.-- sstvp, Jan 07 2010 [sstvp] you've just made me actually want to go to an airport. I'm impressed.-- stilgar, Jan 07 2010 I like that, sstvp. But do not do if you really must catch your plane. Plus you might want to wear one of those antitaser undershirts. Although I guess the scan will show it and they will shoot for the groin.-- bungston, Jan 07 2010 In the interests of fairness there should be another scanner to enable you, for the brief period of time you're standing in the scanner, to see everyone nearby in the nude.-- hippo, Jan 07 2010 Surely the obviuos next step is for all air passengers and crew to be nude at all times while in airports and aeroplanes. All clothing to be carried as checked baggage only.-- pocmloc, Jan 07 2010 Even when naked there are ways for people to conceal things outside and inside the body.
I recommend converting airplanes seating into bunk beds and carrying passengers under a general anasthetic ...-- Aristotle, Jan 07 2010 Slightly off the direct topic but I can relate my experience at a London airport (Gatwick I think - I travel a lot so I tend to forget the gory details but definately more than two years ago).
I was queuing in the normal way when an apparatchik approached requesting my presence. An opportunity to jump the queue is not to be missed so I readily agreed.
"It's a new system we're trialling - it scans through clothing.", he explained, "You have to stand in three positions while the system scans.", he continued.
The positions were various combinations of sticking your bum out, putting your arms in the air and spreading your legs really quite wide.
During the procedure, I asked how it worked and I was offered the opportunity to see the photos. "Go round the corner and see my colleague", he suggested.
I went round the corner to find a grey and tattered curtain that had been slightly pulled away from its rail. This was definately an unloved curtain. I pulled it back gingerly to reveal a darkened booth containing a rotund man with a shaved head hunched over a monochrome screen looking at pictures of a nude man.
I can't remember my exact words but they certainly ended with "who's that fat bastard?"
Then I realised it was me from behind and my arse was definately looking big, a bit saggy and there was too much chub around the middle.
"Not as bad as some", he muttered.
I have to confess this was unexpected but strangely helpful.
Later, it occurred to me that the poor sod in the booth must have the worst job in the world. He relies on his co-worker to pick out reasonable specimens from the queue. If they had fallen out then the chooser would pick out nasty things for the booth-man to cringe at whilst still not lowering his guard for concealed aircraft-unfriendly items.
Of course, the booth and its nasty curtain put me in mind of some dreadful peep show and I can't see any reason why the authorities can't sell a direct video feed for money. After all, UK Government agencies are always trying to find ways to generate revenue these days.
But the real killer app would be to get the whole thing sponsored by some diet or exercise company.
"Lose weight or look like this!"-- DenholmRicshaw, Jan 07 2010 That is the funniest story I have heard in quite some time. I almost fell off the bed laughing. You are too funny.-- blissmiss, Jan 07 2010 Thankfully, I didn't see the front views. The rear view was however quite nasty especially since I was bending over.
and [blissmiss] - what are you doing in bed at this time?-- DenholmRicshaw, Jan 07 2010 I was leaning back on pillows, with my laptop on my knees, looking at the halfbakery. Time is meaningless nowadays, it seems.-- blissmiss, Jan 07 2010 random, halfbakery