Working from the assumption that the opposite of war is not peace but ducklings, I propose that nonlethal shotgun pellets for riot control / police use be designed in the form of small bright yellow rubber ducklings. Such ducklings would be made out of very hard rubber, hard enough to leave a bruise or possibly lodge in bare skin. The rubber would allow the ducklings to bounce around merrily after the gun was discharged, and also permit their use as teething toys or bath buddies when the riot was done.

Options would include shells containing a conventional number of small solid ducklings (4-8 per shell), or a shell which would contain one large duckling slug; this duckling would be hollow with a pore leading from its mouth, so on impact it would emit a loud, peace-inducing quack. Secondary impacts would create softer quacks.
-- bungston, Feb 23 2005

Duckling theory. Fluffy_20Bomb
[bungston, Feb 23 2005]

ISO_20animal_20noises [not_morrison_rm, Apr 30 2012]

Vaguely related weaponry Cat_20food_20can_20shotgun
[normzone, May 01 2012]

And what do you shout when you see one coming?
-- FarmerJohn, Feb 23 2005


great one. I'm firing my "croissant gun" your way.
-- sophocles, Feb 23 2005


How darling! I like this idea.

//The rubber would allow the ducklings to bounce around merrily after the gun was discharged, and also permit their use as teething toys or bath buddies when the riot was done.//

I almost spewed tea all over the computer when I read that. Thanks for brightening my dark and very rainy day.
-- Machiavelli, Feb 23 2005


Croissant for the first clause of your first sentence. Ubercroisant for the rest of the idea.
-- calum, Feb 23 2005


// a loud, peace-inducing quack// Bun for this phrase alone, though I'm worried about the possible anatine aversion reaction this "weapon" may induce.
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 23 2005


Straw Ducks?
-- AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 23 2005


I was all set to bone this but the notion of hundreds of tiny rubber ducklets being sprayed from a Riot Control Officer's sawed-off shot-gun is just too good. [+]
-- contracts, Feb 23 2005


Lends a new slant to the old "Duck!" - "Where? - Ow!" joke.
-- hippo, Feb 23 2005


Will there be different grades of ammo, from double-ought duck onwards?
-- friendlyfire, Feb 23 2005


At what point do the police decide that enough is enough, and bring out the big guns, like the cowitzer?
-- shapu, Feb 23 2005


or the bazoocow, mooze missile, cattl-ing gun, Beef- 52 etc etc.
-- etherman, Feb 23 2005


Heh. Nice, [ether].
-- bristolz, Feb 23 2005


Silly, but baked in the form of rubber balls instead.
-- Knife Knut, Feb 24 2005


Take a gander at this gun my mallardjusted little freind.
This quacks me up.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Feb 24 2005


"It's eider you or me , buddy!"
-- ConsulFlaminicus, Feb 24 2005


It's kinda strange that rubber duckies go "Quack!". Real ducklings go "tseep tseep tseep".

Nice idea.
-- squeak, Feb 24 2005


Perhaps neon rubber balls in a multitude of colors.
-- Knife Knut, Feb 24 2005


[squeak] I think they go "squeak". The rubber ones, I mean.
-- Worldgineer, Feb 24 2005


A low velocity version of this would be awesome for hunting ducks. Confuse them instead of killing them.
-- wagster, Feb 25 2005


I really want to make a strange duckling/quark joke, but I think that might be taking things too far.
-- shapu, Feb 25 2005


Could someone please bring this idea to [MaxB]'s attention? He's bound to complain if we don't.
-- methinksnot, Nov 24 2011


hello [snotty]! am in favour as long as real duckies are not harmed in anyway!

cannot bring myself to vote in favour of shooting duckies...
-- po, Nov 24 2011


Why was this idea not br...oh, thanks [methinksnot].
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 25 2011


[+] yeah that's what I needed, coffee sinus irrigation; thanksalot [bungston]
-- FlyingToaster, Apr 30 2012


>Real ducklings go "tseep tseep tseep".

ISO animal noises. Ahem.

>the form of small bright yellow rubber ducklings. You're not worried you might get hoist by your own canard?
-- not_morrison_rm, Apr 30 2012


<reaches for sword>
-- Alterother, May 01 2012


<reaches for longer sword>
-- not_morrison_rm, May 01 2012


A Claymore? Pfff...

Nice ISOAN callback, though. I enjoyed that one.
-- Alterother, May 01 2012


{taking cover, reaches for sward}
-- pertinax, May 08 2012



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