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"It is better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness" |
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It's possible to make it, though it will need to be
electronically lit. Since piezo lighters only light up one thing
at a time usually. |
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If still not electronic, then you might need eight pezeos to
ignite 8 tentacles. This might be rather impractical to use. |
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Hmmmm... but could work if we keep the spark gap
between each tentacles small, and wire each in series. |
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This is not going to work. You'll wind up spending so
long trying to align all the flames with all the candles
that you'll end up melting many of the candles with
the lighter flames. |
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Lasers, as so often in life, are the solution.
What's needed is a high-power laser which can swivel
from side to side; and also a non-reflective ceramic
screen. Place the ceramic screen on one side of the
cake and the laser on the other. Then sweep the
beam across, at the height of the candle wicks, to
light all the candles. |
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Another option would be to use miniature fuse, like
what they sometimes use to ignite many fireworks
simultaneously or in rapid succession. However,
rigging the cake might take some time. |
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Yet another option would be to coat the candle wicks
in a pyrophoric material. The cake would have to be
assembled in an oxygen-free environment, and
brought to the table in an oxygen-free enclosure.
Then, when the lid is opened and oxygen hits the
pyrophore, all the candles would ignite at once. |
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Or lay a sheet of flash paper on top of the candles. |
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I kind of like the miniature explosive idea. Could expand
that concept to include miniature fireworks. All computer
controlled of course, by a box next to the cake. Wiring will
take a bit tad longer tho. Feel free to take that idea
Maxwell, it's just an extension of your concept taken to
absurdity. Safety not assured. |
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Lighting a standard 20mm candle using a minature pyrotechnic
igniter still tends to blow the top off the candle and danage the wick. A
minature birthday cake candle would have no chance. |
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What's needed is a 2-component system, one solidfuel, one gaseous
oxidiser. The solid component is coated onto the candle wick; to
activate, the oxidiser is sprayed over the cake, causing the wicks to
burst into flame. |
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The trick is going to be making sure that nothing else bursts into
flame at the same time, which tends to rule out Nitrogen Trichloride
and the like. |
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//The trick is going to be making sure that nothing
else bursts into flame at the same time// |
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For goodness' sake, what has got into the Borg these
days? Have they been infiltrated by the HSE? |
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//The trick is going to be making sure that nothing
else bursts into flame at the same time// |
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For goodness' sake, what has got into the Borg these
days? Have they been infiltrated by the HSE? |
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Well, let's just say that it would have been better if we had done the
"lighting the candle" experiment somewhere other than someone
else's dining room, and using one of our own candles, and also
warned those in the vicinity that something was about to go off BANG,
and mentioned that despite previous assurances to the contrary we
still carry a host of pyrotechnic bits and pieces around with us (just in
case). |
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Some humans (particularly, it seems, females) can get quite
unreasonably shouty in such
circumstances. |
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Standardized multi-lighter format, and matching candle layout templates for cake-tops. |
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// should be well mixed // |
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In a wooden bowl, using a wooden spoon ... |
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... if, that is, you wish to retain your eyebrows, eyesight, fingers, or (if
the quantity proves sufficient) life. |
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// with a surplus quantity of Saltpeter // |
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There can be no such thing as "surplus" saltpetre, in the same way
there is no such thing as "waste gold" or "excess malt whisky". |
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Well the obvious solution is to sell candles with extra long wicks to be twisted into a single wick for lighting them all in one go... but I want an octopus lighter so forget I said that. |
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I'm going to prefer a variant of [MaxwellBucahanan]'s
laser suggestion. First, it needs two power settings, low
and high. Second, the swivel/control hardware can be
mounted so the beam is aimed down at a modest angle
toward the candles on the cake. Third, the candle
wicks should be a different color than the candles. |
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The controller gadget would have a camera to detect
the candles/wicks, and to aim the laser individually at
each. You can do a test-run at low power to see just
how many wicks (plus things besides wicks) that the
system wants to ignite, and make appropriate
adjustments until you are sure that only candle wicks
will be ignited when you switch the laser to high-power
mode. |
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Van der Graaff birthday cake. |
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...or you could painstakingly glue a female mosquito to the end of each wick with an incendiary adhesive and use one of those skeeter lasers. |
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I did have a second idea to solve the birthday candle lighting problem: Sell candles with a built-in piece of fine iron wire or Mylar strip woven into the TIP of the candle wick. When the time comes to light the candles just put the whole thing, cake with candles in the microwave and set it for 15 seconds. |
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Who says the microwave emitter has to be in the microwave
oven? |
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