h a l f b a k e r yThis is what happens when one confuses "random" with "profound."
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Nicotine Candles
Aesthetically pleasing and aromatic. Not to mention you can get your nicotine hit without alerting your significant other. | |
Tired of being nagged by your significant other every time you step out for a smoke?
Constantly irritated by do-gooders insisting that second-hand smoke is evil?
Rub it in their face without them realizing it with this, our new product: the nicotine candle.
A simple way to get your nicotine
hit and make it last. Not to mention you can secretly get your significant other hooked on nicotine and not even know it.
[link]
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"dear, you're not stepping out for a cigarette, are you?" |
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"Oh no, no, I know you think it's a dirty habit, honey. I'm just lighting this candle. It adds ambience." |
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"you know, suddenly I feel so much better!" |
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In a strange twist of irony [2 fries short of a happy meal] you spelled "insensitive" as "incensetive". |
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Incense, of course, being an 'aromatic gum or other substance that produces a sweet smoke when burned, used to enhance one's mood'. |
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Hence why he wrote it, I presume... |
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wow. Did you see the joke, [2 fries]? did you get it? incense, insense. haha. I mean you didn't really mean it right? haha. You didn't mean it when you wrote it did you? haha. no one's that clever, right? |
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you know, that's what I though at first, but then I figured I'd just be polite like [theleopard] and act like he did it on purpose to seem clever. |
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Who knows? [2 fries] may be the greatest genius among us. and if that be the case... |
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We could wax lyrical about it for some time. |
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Nicotine is a very dangerous poison. Any candle that is potent enough give you a buzz from the vapors would also have to be potent enough to kill you just by ingesting the tiniest bit of the wax. |
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WAX!!! HAHAHA. bet you didn't mean that one either [Text] OMG what are the chances, two totally way out and funny puns, completely unintentional on the one idea. wow. |
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[w_d_e_t]... <nudge> ... did you get that one? wax. candles. |
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Can someone shed some light on what we are talking about? |
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I can't hold a candle to [2 fries]. |
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Nah, He's just blowing smoke. |
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Second hand smoke, anyone? |
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Sounds like a wickan ritual. |
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I'll pass on the candle, thanks; I prefer Lights. |
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[quantum_flux], I hope the consumers who buy this candle would be smart enough to realize that "consumer" means to purchase, and not to actually consume. I would imagine that anyone who bought this candle would be intelligent enough not to eat the wax. |
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...besides, candles shouldn't smoke either. [-] |
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[we dont eat them] but realize who we're talking about...people who are desperate for their nicotine hit, do you really think they'd take the time to stop and simply inhale the smoke? |
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Nah. Why not take a chunk outa the thing. |
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I've got to start using my spell checker more often. |
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If the nicotine was depositd in layers, the candle could blow smoke rings. |
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Hahahahahha, [2 fries] that is one funny thing to visualize. |
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unfortunately, not possible *shrug*, since the smoke originates from the burning herb, not the burning nicotine. |
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spot on visualization, though. |
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[quantum_flux], you seem a tad bit hostile. |
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if you don't like this page, then click somewhere else, k? |
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[quantum_flux]'s point about the poisonousness of the wax seems a good point to me. You might not eat it, but your kids? And it would be an easy murder weapon - crumble a few tiny bits of the wax into someone's dinner. |
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And aside from the dangeousness of it, wouldn't the amount of nicotine required make it also a very very expensive candle? |
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It sure would burn a hole in your wallet. |
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was going for funny, not hostile, but maybe the joke died from too much nicotine though. It's funny because it's an immaterial object (a soul) hitting a material thing (the ceiling), and that can't technically happen. |
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hahahha, I just got a few more jokes out of all these annotations. intentional? you decide. |
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[normzone] you said //sounds like a wickan ritual// hahahha and [text] you said //sounds wicked// |
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I'm all for taking your nicotine hit away where only you know of it. + |
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...how about some nicotine doughnuts? |
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I would votive this was a good idea! |
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/and [text] you said //sounds wicked/// |
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No, I didn't, and I find the misquotation to be most inflammatory. |
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Now text don't get all fired up, you wouldn't want to snuff out the spirit of her intentions. |
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You're right, I certainly don't want to burn any bridges. Your comments are most illuminating. |
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oops sorry [text], next time i'll quote you accurately. I was just so excited. |
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oh, and [jhaumrighaus], thank you for sticking up for my intentions, but I'd appreciate it if you got my gender correct. I'm a woman. |
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*full of nicotine, of course* |
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You still haven't quite gotten into the whole HB vibe yet my dear. Read everything twice and see if it might have another purpose or meaning. On the plus side, you have managed to generate a fairly lively early post which is more than can be said for most of us. |
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**Coughs on cloud of smoke, turns green** |
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disclaimer; the text you will read below may contain information that will reveal solutions to questions you might have had, if you do not wish to be in the know then do not continue. |
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Hint; read Texticle and myself recent exchange with the theme "words related to candles" in mind. You may discover that Texticle wasn't really upset about being misquoted and I wasn't really defending your intentions(or at least not 100%) |
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Yes, I'm sharp enough to catch the connotations referring to the whole 'candle' theme. so while I also appreciate you trying to 'take me under your wing' so to speak, you don't need to talk to me like I'm a child. |
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hmm...I almost said something else but my better judgement stopped me *get out of my head* |
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hehe, btw, thanks for changing "his" to "her". I feel my estrogen returning as we speak. |
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Children generally don't read disclaimers, nor do they have an accurate understanding of percentages. :) |
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touche, [gumbob], touche. |
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Jeeze, Dont be so sensitive, or you are gonna last like a week before you go crazy. You seem to have a rather rigid sense of humor(based on what Ive seen so far at least). |
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As to "taking you under my wing" I would say you are over reading the situation just a little. You would also be quite surprised at the number of new bakers who run screaming from the kitchen because they didn't grasp the humor or the puns or whatever got handed to them. |
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I like many you will encounter here, was endeavoring to encourage and guide you to the production of better quality ideas and commentary solely out of a selfish desire to have more and better reading material. You're new here so don't get so worked up until you gain a better base of experience to understand our intentions and motivations, most of us are selfish, egomaniacle pedants who enjoy nothing more than blathering on incessantly about the minutia of inconsequential topics of interest to no-one but ourselves. |
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I wasn't trying to get 'worked up', i was just stating what I was thinking, just like you did. Sorry. |
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Stop apologizing for things, Smile you are among friends here. With few exceptions everything here is said in a positive vein or with humorous intention(even if it doesn't read like that at first glance). I was giving you a hard time and it was not my intention for you to feel as if you had done something you needed to apologize for. |
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As a general rule most of what I have to say about most things doesn't amount to a hill of ant poo in a pig sty so, you may feel free to ignore, disregard or otherwise cast dispersions upon anything that comes out of my keyboard. |
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*takes back apologies* right-o, no more of that, then. |
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back to the kitchen for me. |
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This thread has smouldered on for almost a week. Congratulations on igniting such a heated debate. |
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What about a slow burning weed candle. |
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I should just mind my own beeswax but my guess is that it would be too tempting to burn it at both ends. |
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[Frank], you need to take the wax out of your ears and listen up. That line's already been used. |
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[GumBob], thanks for shedding light on that. |
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Yes [GumBob] you have always been a pillar of the HB community, helping to mold our perceptions. That is the true core of the HB. Bravo! |
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[GumBob] is a beacon of enlightenment. |
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Hey, you guys are great, really. You give me such a warm glowing feeling. |
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This community is a thing of necessity for me. If I were a fish, you'd be my paraffins. Oooh, please count that. |
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When I first read this, I thought it said, "Nitroglycerin Candles." |
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Then I saw the first anno, which wrapped up with "I feel so much better!" |
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I guess that's more of a heart patient product. |
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Wow [elhigh] you don't miss a beat, I'm really glad you found a way to jump start the discussion again, I just hope it doesn't blow out of control. |
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wow, it's starting back up again! |
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Dunno what you're all so worried about. I've said it before - smoking's cool and it makes you look big, clever, sexy and sophisticated. Also, when you smoke in moderation it's easy for you body to detox from the bad stuff in cigs. I recommend sticking to about 20 a day. Also, that way, you get over the horrible taste quickly and you get to sleep sound at night safe in the knowledge that you've made a valuable contribution to your country's tax coffers. |
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As for giving up, as I've also said before: Nobody likes a quitter, least of all Phillip Morris Inc, who also run the KKK, if my school yard conspiracy-mongering chums of yore were right. Which they weren't. |
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While we're at it, what am i going to use to make my fingers yellow and give my clothes that knee-tremblingly attractive arome d'Eau d'Ashe if i have to light a candle to get my nico-hit. Talking of nico-hits, Nico, from the Velvet Underground was GREAT at smoking, and to prove that it's good for you, she died after falling off her push bike, or summink. |
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I....I....I have no words. That's perhaps one of the greatest paragraphs I've ever read. |
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rock on, [murdoch], rock on. |
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Whoa - satire! Way to go, Murdoch. |
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When Captian we_don't_eat_them saw the many swimming vortexes of density gradients in the air, she exclaimed: |
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To which, in some wafting zephyr of irony, they all pulled out their nicotine candles and lit up. |
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quit flamin' this smokin' idea. |
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If you put this candle in the wind would smoke get in your eyes? |
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I felt I had to contribute. |
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This isn't punny anymore. |
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I think it's going to taper off. |
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