Mission: Unloveable

British superagent Harry Spears is abducted in a way-too- elaborate, Rube-Goldbergian kidnapping plot. He finds himself in the clutches of a brilliant but irredeemably dorky wouldbe supervillain who calls himself "Dr. Michael Mechismo." Mechismo has one demand of the suave, sexy, and sophisticated Spears, who is notorious for his bedroom exploits:

"Get me laid."

Mechismo wants Spears to teach him everything he knows about romance and seduction, so he can get a woman to honestly love him. If Spears fails to help, Mechismo will detonate some doomsday device that wipes out the planet.

Spears, being an expert observer of human behavior, soon realizes what Mechismo doesn't, or rather won't: his real problem is that he is a heavily closeted gay man, and actually has no desire for women at all; he just thinks that he *should*.

(Spears might assemble a team to help teach Michael the ways of love... Or maybe he takes Michael on a tour of the world's glamour spots? Or does it turn out that Spears HIMSELF is bi, and they are actually meant for each other? I dunno...)