h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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Farmers are always having problems with foxes. This leads to a rather unnecessary hunting and dismembering malarky. So how about a more subtle approach. Chickens could be fitted with coats to disguise them from said fox. The fox sneeks along thinking about a nice chicken supper when he comes across a
farmyard full of strange creatures where the chickens used to be. There could be any number of designs but I would favour the penguin suit for two good reasons. 1. The fox is not a natural predator of penguins as they live in the Antarctic. 2. The chickens could earn some welcome spare cash as waiters. Indeed the fox may simply think he has stumbled across a waiters training school, and sneek away to look for his supper elsewhere. Perhaps paying for it at KFC like everyone else. How ironic it would be if he was served by a chicken dressed as a penguin?
Of course the farmer would have to button the suits up, as the chickens don't have thumbs.
Chicken Suits (picture)
http://www.ananova....ages/web/290804.jpg
[spiraliii, Oct 14 2005]
Chicken Suits (official Web site)
http://www.chickenssuit.com/
[spiraliii, Oct 14 2005]
[link]
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The last sentence saved you from a fishbone. Well done. |
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...or, more rationally, the fox would think he stumbled into the Antarctic... |
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...waiter training school... |
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Penguins and chickens are entirely different shapes, so I suspect that a wily fox would be able to see through a misshapen disguise such as this. Penguins are also more appealing (it is worth noting that there is no film called "March of the Chickens") to humans and therefore penguin rustling may ensure. |
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Far better then, the dress the chicken up as similarly-shaped creature of diminished tastiness and increased pugnaciousness. The Wild Mountain Haggis fits the bill perfectly. |
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//no film called "March of the Chickens") // But then, neither is there a film called "Penguin Run". |
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But the Wild Mountain Haggis has three legs thus causing a detectable instability in the disguise. And have you ever seen a Haggis serving at The Ritz? Neither have I. |
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I'm sure with a bit of padding the Emperor Penguin version would be fine. |
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Dress them up in studded leather jackets, t shirts that read "have flu will travel" and hockjoint steel-toe capped boots. |
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I think you should test out the principal of this with bears
- I'll get the bears and you put on your "I can fool bears
into thinking I'm something that they don't eat" suit. |
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...unless you're chicken. |
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[callum] Surely it doesn't matter if chickens are a different shape to penguins, as long as the fox hasn't spent time in Antarctica or reading National Geographic? |
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Another possibility would be the Pirate version of the chicken coat. The chicken would obviously have a leg surplus, and therefore give the farmer a nice earner from Legs R' Us. And no fox in its right mind would attack a farmyard full of Pirates. |
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The parrots would have to be fake of course or the scheme would become absurd. |
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I beg to differ. Google gives hits for an "Unsigned Bass Tab" called March of the Chickens, and one image. |
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Chester flew into his room to sulk, slamming the door behind him. Parents don't understand. Tidbits of their argument raced through his mind: |
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"But I don't wanna be a fricking waiter, Ma! I got plans. That's why I went online to get this cool t-shirt. You see? It looks like a yin-yang symbol, but it's really a croissant and a fishbone. It means you're a member of the Halfbakery. That's what I wanna do, Ma. I wanna be a halfbaker!" |
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"But sweetie, everybody knows foxes like fish and they love croissants, so that shirt will be like a target. Besides, your Dad's been a waiter down at the IHOP since before you were an egg, and your Uncle Charlie has just been made maitre d' at the Ritz. There's no shame in wearing the suit, dear." |
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"You don't understand! I gotta be me! I feel like I would die if I don't get into pastry!" |
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Chester's head was spinning as he packed his belongings into his bright red bandana. He paused before his mirror and slipped on his HB t-shirt, gazing longingly at the crisp black logo on the stark white background, then he climbed out the window. A couple of chickens coming home late from work hurried past him. He turned the corner and found himself face-to-face with a fox. The fox licked his lips and hissed "Fishbone!" |
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Perhaps the chickens could dress up as foxes themselves. Granted, there would have to be quite a bit of padding, and some extra legs in back, but think of the confrontation. |
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The foxes arrive at the henhouse, and another pack is already inside, lazily roaming about as if they own the place. |
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The real foxes believe they are too late, and sulk away. |
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Nice idea [jacob marley]. Love the name btw. Welcome to the 1/2Bakery. |
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