h a l f b a k e r y(Serving suggestion.)
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We all like milk, there's no finer way to create a smell
time-bomb in an enemies car or ruin countless millions of
cups of coffee by being off before it should be.
Milking cows however, is tedious. There's a lot of faffing
about involved, and lots of getting up really early, if you
ask me,
the world would be better if there weren't so many
farmers complaining about having to get up early.
So, 1. stick a GPS tag on each of your cows. 2. design a
milking roomba that visits each of the cows, and gives
them a damned good milking... and keeps stats on the
cows... you know, for their year-end performance
evaluation.
Done.
[link]
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Fully automatic milking systems exist. They generally take advantage of the fact that cows are mobile, and as a result the milking machine itself is fixed. |
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yes, but all that tedious moving about cuts into
valuable cud-chewing time. |
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[+] If, rather than a Roomba-y look, you made your
robot a warm, furry, realistic (to a cow) simulacrum
of a calf that not only milks (or, you might better call
it, nurses) but follow and nuzzle and otherwise
behave socially like a real calf, I imagine it would
make for much happier cows, which, per
conventional dairy wisdom, should make for a
healthier herd and better milk. |
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// there's no finer way to create a smell time-bomb in an
enemies (sic) car // |
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Yes there is. It's called putriscine. |
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putriscine (sic) is not really a 'time bomb' more
'constant smell explosion' |
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Could come in different sizes for different mammals [+] |
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^ Yes ! that's what the world needs: autonomous milking robots that wander through the wild until they're full and trundle back to their owner. |
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Wild food is better than farmed! |
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I like moose milk on my cereal, but beaver milk is better in
my tea. Finally, a solution! |
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Yes, but when they released revision 54 of the beaver milking firmware there was an engineering error and the moose firmware update was issued under that number. Scared the hell out of the beaver in these parts. |
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We were speculating about a roomba clone that could bring you a beer the other day... |
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Wouldn't one that could bring you a beer right now be
more
practical? |
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a roomba with a built-in beer fridge and a
'cometopapa' remote... totally doable |
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Udderly ridiculous idea. (+) |
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//you made your robot a warm, furry, realistic (to a
cow) simulacrum of a calf that not only milks// |
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You could hollow-out a real calf. |
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/autonomous milking robots that wander through the wild until they're full and trundle back to their owner/ |
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What is this stuff you're full of, little Milker? Doesn't look like milk to me... |
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