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Sport: Fighting: Bullfighting
Stop The Run   (+7, -3)  [vote for, against]
The Bulls Won't Win This Time

EVERY YEAR the bulls have pushed past the humans along Pamplona's narrow cobbled streets, claiming dominance over what is rightly ours.

EVERY YEAR the bulls have claimed superiority through successfully navigating the path from the docks to the arena paddock.

THIS SHAME HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH.

PEOPLE > BULLS

STOP THE RUN

Join me, Rugger-men, at the next run, and we shall go down in history as the men who conquered the beasts; who showed that human strength of will is superior even to beasts ten times our weight with keratinous horns like sabers.

For in the soul of the Rugger-man there is found the mad spirit to withstand all odds for the glorification of joyous manliness, and when many such spirits join together it is a force unstoppable and legendary.

Join me, brave Rugger-men, as we shall set our scrum at the mid-point of the Run, and hold fast while men and then beast thunder and break against our bulwark.

For when the beasts turn and retreat back down to the water, and the caped men cease berating us and leave to pursue them, we shall go to pound Sangrias having written upon the world, for all eternity, the glory of the Rugger- man.
-- sninctown, Aug 10 2015

City of Pamplona http://www.pamplona.es/?idioma=5
pamplona.es their web site [popbottle, Aug 11 2015]

You had me at Rugger-men.

As an adept at all carpet installations it should be a cake-walk!

I'll show those bull-nose stairs what-for.
-- 2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 10 2015


I'll be cheering from the stands and will hold your coats (or is that capes?)
-- AusCan531, Aug 11 2015


Curiouser and curiouser. If I recall correctly, a well packed, experienced scrum pack of 8 can push with an aggregate force of as much as 2 tonnes (or should I say ~20kN). I wonder what the tractive force of an angry bull is (sans impact of course).

Perhaps some kind of tug-of-war would be a more sensible trial to run at first.

Although, in the real world, you can't ignore impact effects. The momentum of an angry bull would most certainly disrupt a scum formation, especially those unfortunates finding themselves in the front row. Additionally, the strength of a scrum comes from the "leaning in" to the other team, and without being able to prop off the opposition front line [hence the name for the front row position] the front row can't effectively conduct the force of the scrum, which is coming chiefly from the second row. Perhaps a phalanx shield wall formation would have a more realistic chance of survival.

Of course, if I were personally trying to survive a bum rush from a pack of angry bulls, I think I'd rather take refuge in an Abrams or Challenger tank. This of course facilitates the option to take the fight to them, as it were, if you so choose. Another option would be to dust off in an Apache, and then have the choice of settling the bulls down indirectly, once again if you so choose.

Won't someone think of the bulls?
-- Custardguts, Aug 11 2015


// Won't someone think of the bulls? //

<thinks>

Brisket, fillet, rump, t-bone, liver, kidneys, shoulder, spare ribs,

</thinks>
-- 8th of 7, Aug 11 2015


Oh. I was thinking maybe this was an American football defensive line idea...
-- normzone, Aug 11 2015


American football does not tax the stamina of the true Rugger-man, but our brawny bretheren are welcome.
-- sninctown, Aug 11 2015


I see a game of Red River propping up between the bulls and players.
-- RayfordSteele, Aug 12 2015


Red rover (also known as forcing the city gates and octopus tag) is a game played primarily by children on playgrounds. This 19th-century children's group game (requiring around 10 or more players total) is thought to have originated in Britain and then spread to Australia, Canada, and the United States.

Yes, definitely a game of Red River.
-- normzone, Aug 12 2015


This is an insanely good idea. It's about time some Brits showed these Spaniards how to master the animal kingdom.

I applaud you, and will be happy to attend the memorial service.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 12 2015


I think some Texans need to get in there and just shoot any bull that looks threatening.
-- bungston, Aug 12 2015


//It's about time some Brits showed these Spaniards how to master the animal kingdom//

Britain effectively has no animal kingdom, it's safe to say Britons have been free of the bear menace for some time.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 12 2015


//Britain effectively has no animal kingdom//

Ha ha. For instance:

UK Bird species: 574 = 2 per 1000km2
US Bird species: 983 = 0.11 per 1000km2

UK mammals: 101 = 0.5 per 1000km2
US mammals: 490 = 0.05 per 1000km2

UK butterflies: 59 = 0.24 per 1000km2 US butterflies: 750 = 0.08 per 1000km2

Etc, etc, et bloody cetera. The biodiversity density in the UK is anywhere between 2 and 40 times greater than in the US, depending on what group of animals you're interested in.

Plus ours taste better.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 12 2015


so the US has even more mastery of the animal kingdom? that's gun control for you.
-- bs0u0155, Aug 12 2015


One word: passenger pigeon.
-- MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 13 2015


//chitinous//

"keratinous", Shirley?
-- pertinax, Aug 13 2015


/Plus ours taste better./

Well at 0.05 per 1000km2 it takes us a long time to gather enough for a decent burger. Pretty much you bolt it down by the time you get 0.3.
-- bungston, Aug 13 2015


// "keratinous", Shirley?//

Edited to fix. Chitin (exoskeleton material) and Keratin (horn and scale material) are different molecules with similar properties.
-- sninctown, Sep 01 2015


If Myth Busters are to go by, artisan your front row as a piece of china.
-- wjt, Sep 02 2015



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