Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Undercover Condiments

Utilise sandwich spreads and party dips to secure your privacy
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
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against]

To save money on camouflage material, simply go through your refrigerator and see what you can scrape up from what's at the bottom of empty jars and tins.

Chutney is a versatile disguise when rubbed in a horizontal or zig zag fashion across your face - imagine your wife's reaction when she returns home to find you peering from inside a cupboard - almost indistinguishable from the hiding spot around you.

Guacamole works well in a garden setting and is great for spying on the neighbours.

In winter go to your front yard and squat in the snow with a clear view of the their house. Pour vanilla yoghurt on and around your head and shoulders and you can go undetected till well into the afternoon.

Mix and match the contents of refrigerator with your hiding environment and enjoy your well deserved privacy.

benfrost, Oct 05 2004

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       Out of interest, have you tried this? Please say you have.
wagster, Oct 05 2004
  

       I can't decide whether I want to laugh at the joke or run away at the seriousness...[+]
kranedawg, Oct 05 2004
  

       Even after reading this suggestion, houmous still seems totally pointless to me.
lyserge, Oct 05 2004
  

       Ha ha ha... great idea!! Mustard to avoid looking like a tourist in your travels to Asia.
Pericles, Oct 05 2004
  

       [lyserge], houmous would be great when hiding among stacks of particle board at Home Depot or at a construction site. 'Cos, you know, people are always hiding around stuff like that.
Machiavelli, Oct 05 2004
  

       Like salsa at an art show, I suppose.
lintkeeper2, Oct 05 2004
  

       Works great until your pet comes up and starts licking your face, completely blowing your cover.
krelnik, Oct 05 2004
  

       Congrats on the reinstatement of 'vagina jam', ben.
waugsqueke, Oct 05 2004
  

       Who voted against this? Some people have no sense of houmous.
lostdog, Oct 05 2004
  

       It's a great sauce of amusement to me anyway...
goff, Oct 05 2004
  

       This mayo or may not work. Still, I'll spread the word.
vigilante, Oct 06 2004
  

       //...when hiding among stacks of particle board at Home Depot...people are always hiding around stuff like that//   

       This explains why you can never find a member of staff at these places.
egbert, Oct 06 2004
  


 

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