Unholy Guacamole

3 Avocados, plucked from trees on which men have been hung.
1 chopped Tomato, from a vine bathed in the blood of virgins on the eve of a full moon.
œ chopped Onion (medium), chopped before a goat on the Sabbath.
2-oz. Sour Cream, from milk of the Unholy Cow of Wagga Wagga.
1 clove Garlic, chopped finely with a silver blade on All Hallows Eve.
salt and black pepper to taste
2-3 wedges of lemon (Be sure that the lemons are *evil* lemons. Goatee beards are the usual give away)

Important: Picking the right Avocado. Avocado's for this recipe must be plucked from a tree on which a man has been hung from. This can often be difficult to find in your local green-grocer, so I recommend "Unholy and Evil Supplier R Us" who will ship within 72 hours, anywhere in the world.

Cut the Avocado in half the long way. Separate into two. Remove the pit. Chant the introduction to the Necronomicon thrice whilst holding the pit in one hand and a handful of mother's hair in the other.

Take a tablespoon and put in between the skin and the pulp of the Avocado and remove the pulp. This can be messy so ensure you do not soil your ceremonial robes of Cthuga, as the stain can be a bugger to get out.

In a good size bowl, dice up the pulp of two Avocados into Πinch pieces. Mash the third Avocado like a potato. Combine all the ingredients and mix well with a spatula. Store in refrigerator, though a handy mauseleum or butchery cold storage room will suffice in a pinch.

If possible, get unsalted corn chips.