h a l f b a k e r yExpensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.
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Ever since the dawn of evolution, people have been trying to make what they say sound more important by starting out with "Ever since the dawn of evolution"...
But more importantly, I don't like it when I don't get the right amount of salt and mustard on my pretzel.
A device which can chromatographically
detect the amount of salt and pretzel on a sample (very small sample, so you don't miss out on every delicious bite) of your pretzel would be heavenly. First, it would detect the levels, then scan the size and curvature of the pretzel, then automatically apply the absolutely correct amount of salt and mustard. AI built into the chipset would "learn" your preference and customize accordingly. A deluxe model would also detect the freshness of the pretzel itself, and suggest a variety of beverages depending upon time of year, time of day, etc.
Auntie Anne's
http://www.auntieannes.com/
These are the BEST soft pretzels - I noticed on the site that they do have a location in London too! Try the Cinnamon & Sugar pretzels! :) [funkychunky, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
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Can be combined with the "Random Soda Machine" concept |
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Only pretzels I like better than mustard pretzels are honey-mustard pretzels. And maybe pizza pretzels. |
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How does this help me when the pretzel cart guy only has soggy pretzels that all the salt fell off of? |
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You people put mustard on pretzels? That sounds awesome! I love mustard, I love pretzels, I love salt. I really must move to America.
BTW - what kind of pretzels are these? As I know pretzels they're pretty small, kind of crisp/chip size, made of maize flour or something, and come in bags. Are you talking about some different kind of pretzel? |
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I think he's talking about the kind
that are sold by pretzel vendors -
maybe up to 6" across, chewy and
bready, rather than crunchy and
crispy. Buying one of these
pretzels is probably the most
expensive way of buying
low-quality bread in the world.
They
need lots of mustard on them to
make them taste of
anything.
Also famously
difficult for US presidents to chew. |
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Up to 6" across and bready. Wow! I have never heard of these before, but I now want one badly. Does anyone know of a UK source of these? |
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They are bready as some suggest, but they really hit the spot when you're walking around and need something in your stomach but don't want anything greasy. If done well, they are usually just lightly crispy on the outside and soft and oh-so-fluffy on the inside. The best ones have just a little too much salt on them but part of the fun is shaking a little salt off to get it "just right". Mustard is critical. |
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Many grocery stores in the U.S. sell frozen soft pretzels that can be nuked in the microwave - but I wouldn't recommend them - they are dry and blah. Auntie Anne's are so much better. |
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The NYC ones are as [hippo] and [mahatma] describe, but with a tantalizing hint of of bus exhaust. Truly scrumptious, unless they're soggy and all the salt fell off, which is most of the time. |
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I don't think this is a good device. I mean, part of the enjoyment of eating food is that with every bite, you get a different taste, texture, flavour on your tongue, and it doesn't all taste exactly the same, even though the source is. Am I talking rubbish again, like I do every time I annotate? I think it comes from being british, which has just given me an idea... |
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the variability of taste can be programmed into the AI
chipset, based on a percentage variability of course. for
instance, do not vary more than 15% from the ideal
desired saltiness... |
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I don't like pretzels, but I do like this idea, as it could also be applied to the amount of ketchup/mustard on a hamburger, salt on french fries, etc... |
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I say we take this big time! Why don't we install this condiment machine device in people's mouths so that they always get the right sauces for everything they eat? |
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The best pretzels are sold in paper bags, purchased through your car window from vendors on street corners in Philadelphia. |
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[betokr] !!! Now THAT's an application of Nanotechnology I
can get behind !!! |
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Merriam–Webster confirms this usage of "mustardize", surprisingly.
Google also told me it can refer to the use of mustard gas. |
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Chromatography requires a small physical sample, and so does mass
spectrometry. That implies that only one point on the pretzel would be
sampled, which—unless you took a larger sample, blended it, and then
took a smaller sample from that—would almost certainly not be
representative of the whole-pretzel average. They both also require
bulky and heavy equipment. |
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Therefore, I would suggest using optical spectrometry instead. That can
be done with much smaller hardware, and no physical sample. It can also
be combined with imaging, so as to measure the pretzeliness and
saltiness at all points on the pretzel, to know exactly where to put
mustard on or rub off some excess salt. |
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