Seven Layers of Sweat

This is a salsa like you've never seen or heard of before. This is the King of Kondiments! This is a salsa consisting of 7 different types of salsa, each made with vegetable oils of different weights, causing them to separate into 7 individual layers. Each type of oil is infused with a different concentration of capsaicin, the substance that makes peppers spicy and pepperspray painful. The first layer would resemble a mild taco sauce. The next would be like Pace Medium Salsa. From there down, each successive layer would have 30% more capsaicin than the layer above it. The salsa itself would consist of all the chunky goodness of regular salsa, but the chunks would be weighted so that an even amount float at given layers to ensure homogenous distribution of everything but the capsaicin. This arrangement prevents the spiciness from plateauing after a certain amount has been ingested.

The Seven Layers of Sweat are packaged in individual bowls of a size sufficient for a single person to consume half of a large bag of Tostitos brand Scoops tortilla chips using all the dip with little or nothing left. (I only chose that specific brand because it's the only one I'm familiar with that makes the Scoops: bowl-shaped bite-size tortilla chips)

The idea here is for a contest using the above recipe. It is played between 2 people by setting out 2 bowls, a single large bag of chips, and 2 glasses of milk. No other drinks are allowed. The loser is the first to take a sip of milk. If nobody taps out, the winner is the first to reach the bottom of the bowl. To ensure that there are enough chips in the bag for both contestants to consume their entire bowls, the rules stipulate that they each take one chip at a time, and one dip is measured by filling the chip halfway with salsa. You must consume each layer in its entirety before dipping into the next.

(Appropriate chemical-burn warnings and an age-restriction that prohibits sale to minors should at least minimize chance of successful lawsuits)