h a l f b a k e r yProfessional croissant on closed course. Do not attempt.
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This is what's currently done, but they've censored all of the OOOOing curses out. |
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Aw I'd love these so much. [+] |
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I think I see a way to make this idea appeal to the masses for #@&% sake. |
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No point beating about the bush with the product name, coming over all coy like a self-regardingly groovy RE teacher whose bluff hs been called by truculent pupils, this cereal should be called Chocolate Frosted Fucking Cocksuckers. The advertisement should feature Gordon Ramsay, Ray Winstone and Ian McShane. In a sauna. |
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Long, wide, languid shot of three middleaged men sweating in a sauna. The heat sizzles. Slow zoom to Winston.
Winstone: "Cor, it's fackin' hot"
Ramsay, proffering bowl: "Shut the fuck up you fat cunt. Eat some of these bastards"
Product shot, of a perfect bowl of CFFC. The words swim in the brilliant white milk, creating transitory and profane poetry. Swooping angelic choir sings.
Boy soprano <vo>: "Shitbiscuits."
Cut music and back to the trio. Big close up of McShane.
McShane, big grin, thumbs up: "Eat 'em up, cocksuckers." |
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I can't wait to start my day with a nice big bowl of Special Cunt(TM). Stay special! |
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"I distinctly heard my breakfast cereal
go, 'snap, crackle, fuck you!'" |
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