Slugged in the Face Spa

Three parts is our world class spa, Slugged in the Face. Drinking of local pilsner is part one, yes. From the parish grains and the sweat of laboring brewers is made this tasty beer. A rosy complexion and calm temper is consequence of imbibing the liquor and it being splashed on the face.

Beer is liked by slugs, too, yes. The face is introduced to the slugs for one hour micro massage and beneficial slime trails. Better than ketchup is drunken snail mucous as witness native, moist cheeked maidens. Not to fear, holding eyes tightly shut, breathing in through teeth and out through nose keeps slugs out and lessens scream desires.

After being slugged in the face, yet to come is best and third part. That every spa meal features escargot pickled, fried, grilled, baked or beer-boiled, we pride ourselves. Unequalled as chewy protein source and trustworthy aphrodisiac is the lowly gastropod mollusk of genus Lima. More good news have we – washing down each meal with beer is preparing you for next day’s facial, yes.