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With a name like "Charlie," you'd think last week's hurricane was a playful little puppy or a kindly uncle. This seems inappropriate for so nasty a phenomenon. Why not use a nomenclature that better characterizes their rude nature? I propose that hurricanes be assigned derogatory nicknames. The naming
can still proceed alphabetically and alternate between male and female. For example, one year it might start with "Hurricane Airhead" and continue with "Hurricane Barfboy" and "Tropical Storm Crackwhore." This could really liven up weather reports:
"Now Bob with the weather. Bob, it looks like Hurricane Dickwad is headed right for the Florida Keys."
"That's right, Jim. What a prick."
There are certainly enough insults in the English language to last many years. If we run out, or just for variety, we switch to German.
October 1987
http://www.stvincen...r/Severe/oct87.html
according to this, it was not a hurricane. [po, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Worldwide Tropical Cyclone Names
http://www.nhc.noaa.gov/aboutnames.shtml
I don't know if they are offensive, but some of these are virtually unpronounceable [Klaatu, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
Hurricane Bawbag
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Hurricane_Bawbag
yes, Scotland has baked this idea. [calum, Jul 20 2012]
Typhoon Longwang
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Typhoon_Longwang
[tatterdemalion, Jul 20 2012]
The Pathetic Fallacy
http://en.wikipedia...ki/Pathetic_fallacy
Rather childish, really. [8th of 7, Jul 21 2012]
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Curiously, the most damaging and unpleasant person I have ever had the misfortune to meet was called Charlie. |
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Funnily enough, I like this idea - not because I think the offensive name thing is good, but because I think the cutesy names for hurricanes is stupid. (+) |
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Or maybe names that fit the reactions they get. |
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Hurricane Argh.
Hurricane Oh God My Face.
Hurricane Look Ethel The Cow's Flying. |
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<Aside> I'm amazed they still call it a "federal disaster area" and not a "business resumption opportunity." |
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[bwv] does that mean that when it gets down graded to a tropical storm it becomes 'hijo di puta'? |
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Hurricane dictator names: Adolf, Augusto, Benito, Fidel, Idi, Juan, Mao, Muammar, Nicolae, Pol, Slobodan, Vlad... |
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[Idischler] so the headlines could read: Fidel strikes Florida! that would sell some papers for sure. |
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Thanks for the language lesson [bwv], just wanted to be inclusive to make sure that I offended as many people as possible ;) |
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I must say that Tropical Storm Crackwhore has a certain panache. |
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Bah, Portuguese is just Spanish spoken badly anyway. |
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I prefer Hurricane Bitchface myself. |
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I think one word curses would go nicely after "hurricane". Hurricane Cock, Hurricaine Crap, etc. |
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Interesting irony to this, as the old naming scheme of using all female names was found offensive by many. This led to the current scheme of alternating gender. |
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I'm with [ldischler] here - you know where you are with a weather system called "Hurricane Adolf". |
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Hurricane Bastard.
Repeat if necessary.
If you don't know its name then you don't know that it's coming. If you do know its name but choose to stay then you are probably Mr Michael Mouse in Florida. Otherwise take advice from others and get out and then get over it.
God didn't invent Disneyworld but he did invent the Wind in all its shapes and forms. |
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Sorry - my friend just got back from there and 'couldn't believe' the weather!. |
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Would the spanish/portugese use English names for their
hurricanes or go with spanish/portugese names...? |
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"Y ahora es la hora para el informe sobre huracán 'hijo de
una puta'." |
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What's foder mean in Portuguese? Isn't that a last name? Like Foder's travel books? |
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I vote for foreign curse words for hurricanes. Like Hurricane Sikdeer--in Turkish that's "Get the fuck outta here." |
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[Bwv61] Lisping who, from where? What have you got
against the Spaniards? I'm Canadian, but I have spent a
large part of my life in Spain.... |
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This is a funny fabulous idea. |
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OK I understand, in that case, shame on Machiavelli! |
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I think the Weather Bereau could make some money on this. Sell off the naming of Hurricanes to different companies so they can name the hurricane after their competitor. "Hurricane Enron has hit hard!!" or "Tropical Storm Stewart is going away for good!!" |
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That's a first, [bwv]. People usually blame me for bringing out the absolute best in them. |
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Companies pay money to the weather service to name hurricanes after competitors. Exxon would pay for Hurricane BP, and BP would respond by paying for Hurricane Royal Dutch Shell. |
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You could also go 'medical'. There are plenty of nasty things in medicine:
Hurricane Anus
Hurricane Bile
Hurricane Clamidia
Hurricane Defecate
Hurricane Emesis
Hurricane Fistula
<snip>
Hurricane Wassermann
Hurricane Xanthosis
Hurricane Yersinia
Hurricane Zonulolysis
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Why do we name hurricanes anyway? Why not just say there's a hurricane coming? That'd do it for me. |
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[bvw61] - congratulations, glad to hear it! I presume you're still not very well, but there's a world of difference between that and cancer. |
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// Why do we name hurricanes anyway? Why not just say there's a hurricane coming? // |
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Because it's easier to refer to them by name than by calling them "that storm at 14.5N 139.8W" every time. |
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This is not at all practical. I presume the + votes are for the humour aspect only. (Though I don't see that either.) |
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How often is there more than one hurricane at once? |
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I expect people remember a hurricane's name better that a date, although the only really historically momentous english one that I remember is usually referred to as the 1987 storm (if it had a name, I don't know what it was) |
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I don't think it ever got named because they still insist that it 'wasn't a hurricane' (probably something to do with the definition of where hurricanes come from - over in japan they're Typhoons a much cooler name if you ask me, makes you think of a nice cup of tea) |
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[Po] I think it was called Typhoon Thatcher. |
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...or Was it Maggie Mistral? |
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Oo, historical satire! Ascerbic! |
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How bout Hurricane Schmericane? |
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That kind of makes it sound like you don't care that a destructive force of nature is headed your way, [yawn]. |
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I stand duely chastised. Five? That must have sucked. |
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There were five North Atlantic storms on the go during early September 1995. |
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Seems a shame that we have never had a Hurricane Jutta. It's not exactly an uncommon name. And we've had Hurrricanes Alan, Christine, Hector, Peter and Stephen, amongst many others. |
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But then all the stupid Weather Channel people would call it hurricane jutta, not yutta, or nutta, or, well you get the point. They'd just get it wrong. |
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(Oh, and by the way, I think we did have a "hurricane jutta", not that long ago. It was just a local disturbance though.) |
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Oh, and that "hurrricane" Alan must a been a rrrealy bad one. |
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The name Hericane Bliss seems amiss. |
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For the sake of guaranteeing uniqueness, and avoiding language-specificity and generder bias, I vote we use a GUID name (Globally Unique ID). Look out - its hurricane {8ED4FA22-8817-4882-A975-3E055E3A109A} |
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// "hurrricane" Alan must a been a rrrealy bad one // |
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Came ashore at Kingsville, TX. I kid you not. |
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//Portuguese is just Spanish spoken badly anyway// |
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Hurricane AOL :(
Hurricane Time Warner @ (and their logo can be the Tasmanian Devil)
Offensive enough? |
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bwv: You do not appear to be stuck - that's a pretty reasonable facsimile of English. |
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Hurricane Hazel was 'retired' in 1954 after causing so much damage in the Antilles and in North and South Carolina that noone ever wanted to hear the name again. Nice! |
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//You're not the one stuck speaking Portuguese for the rest of your life// |
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Yeah [Bev], I think it's pretty funny even if it was explained the other way round (being spanish a bad spoken portuguese). I would like to learn portuguese some day... it's not too different from spanish. |
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Apparently if you learn Spanish and French, you can speak
Portugese... |
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Why are they named at all? I can't see that knowing which lethal natural disaster just wiped out some area of the map has any real value. |
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Important things have names. |
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More likely, it's just another manifestation of
the Pathetic Fallacy of which you humans
seem so fond. |
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Giving it a "name" associates attributes of
"will", "intent" and "personality"; apparently,
your species finds some bizarre form of
perverse reassurance when suffering loss,
damage, injury or death if it can be
attributed to a wilful act of malice rather
than the chaotic interaction of stochastically
predictable natural forces. |
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//Giving it a "name" associates attributes of "will",
"intent" and "personality"// |
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Naming something usually makes it 'safe' by limiting what it is to a perceived understanding in the same way that thunder and lightning were once explained by Thor wielding Mjölnir. The notion that something 'can't' be labelled, delimited and controlled is too frightful to grasp. |
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