h a l f b a k e r yLeft for Bread
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Me and Mrs. MikeD were lounging on the sofa, half-way through a “House MD.” marathon, when I unexpectedly found New Castle Ale to be a spontaneous and ineluctable desideratum.
We put House on pause and sallied forth to Walmart.
Upon entering this cathedral of capitalism, Mrs. MikeD informed me
of her necessity to use the latrine, and scuttled off leaving me with her purse.
I experimented with several manly methods of holding the purse; each one failing to make me feel any less domesticated.
Then an idea struck me!
What I needed was a bag, a MANLY bag in which I could put the purse. A bag imprinted with pictures of guns and battleaxes and skeletons and tanks! Big enough to hold most purses, small enough to be folded up and kept in most purses, MANLY enough to make holding a purse a real man’s job!
Did you try any of these bag (or, hah, purse) holding techniques?
http://www.whoateal...walls/argentina.jpg
[calum, Dec 21 2010]
One option
http://www.askahain...USarmy/M60pouch.jpg
[mouseposture, Dec 21 2010]
There's always this type of bag.
http://www.google.c...wi&biw=1366&bih=570
Accessorises well with a skirt... [Jinbish, Dec 21 2010]
Military types lack confidence in their own sexuality?
http://en.wikipedia...garethe_Cammermeyer
[mouseposture, Dec 22 2010]
Sold here
Man_20Mall
Man mall [Voice, Dec 22 2010]
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You could act really camp - then holding a woman's bag would look more natural. |
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the trick is to treat it with contempt - the more expensive the better. try just tucking it upside down under your arm along with a newspaper. |
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//battleaxes and skeletons and tanks// Or stenciled with
"7.62 MM, NATO / LINKED 4 BALL M80 / 1 TRACER M62 / 100
RDS" |
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//7.62 MM, NATO / LINKED 4 BALL M80 / 1 TRACER M62 / 100 RDS// |
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I have a slew of these laying about the house, [mp]. They aren't nearly big enough to hold a purse, but I like the direction you are going with this. |
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So, make a bigger-than-standard one. Or would the
inauthenticity bother you? |
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Or you coud be arch and ironic. Do you think your wife might
let you stencil //7.62 MM, NATO... //etc. on her purse? |
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A rifle case would be good. Then if the police tazed
you to the floor, they'd look really silly as they take
out the purse. |
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You could have started running, pretending that you had stolen it... |
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//Do you think your wife might let you stencil // |
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Tis better to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission. |
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I think you're on to somethin, [xandram]. |
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Why is it that military types always lack confidence in their
own sexuality? |
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You're suggesting MikeD is a lesbian? |
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You're amending it to "heterosexual male military types in
late C20/earlyC21?" Fine, then we're basically in agreement
that your original assertion was far too sweeping to be true,
and if that doesn't cause you to wonder whether even the
more restricted version might not still be a bit
overgeneralized then I won't press the point further. |
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I never amend, and I never apologize. I'm sorry, but that's
just the way I am. |
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Nobody's asking you to apologize. I have no dog in this fight. |
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Get a t shirt that says 'Not my bag, man.' |
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Maxwell Buchanan, I take it your a swinger? Sex
parties? Kinky freaky shit, likes to get your balls
stepped on by men in high heels? This is my only
explanation for your ass-ness. |
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In America, the united states part of it, we have
recently repealed a 'don't ask
don't tell' policy whereby homosexuals that were
once forced to keep their sexuality a secret in the
military may
now
volunteer the information at will. That is, military
types have fought hard and won in order to
embrace their sexuality. Your
comments,
in my opinion, couldn't be more false or ill-timed. |
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maybe we can give them a Rainbow Medal for being so brave. |
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Women are often discouraged from combat duty, not because they can't fight, but because of the distraction... sooooo if you've now got homosexuals on the battlefield... |
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What about quartering ? Do homo' males bunk with the men ? with the women ? with each other ? Do we pair off one homo' male with one lesbian ? |
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Hindsight being 20/20 why didn't they just say "don't ask don't tell" applies to everybody, hetero/homo/other. |
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//Why is it that military types always lack confidence in their own sexuality?// |
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Maybe the bonds formed during service eclipse any bonds with the fairer sex? I have said many times, to my closest combat buddy: "If you had a vagina, I would marry you in a heart-beat". |
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As to the repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell"; A homosexual statement, act or marriage is still grounds for dismissal from uniformed service. Repealing DADT closes a portal into service, contrary to the erroneous vox populi. |
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I do have reservations, both with gays and with women serving in combat, for I have seen both fail to perform under fire. |
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//I never apologize. I'm sorry// |
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I don't think [mp] got it. I take no offense [MB]. It has been my realization that most servicemen have had some form of patriarcal deficit in thier more tender years. That could explain the machismo... |
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////I never apologize. I'm sorry//// Hmm, yes: the
trademark Buchannan light touch. Sorry to be dense. |
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We consider the best solution would be a bright yellow plastic sack with "BIOHAZARD" and the appropriate ISO symbol stencilled on it in red, plus a releasable tie-wrap closure allowing re-use. Insert purse (handbag) into sack, close opening, zip shut. Has the added benefit of deterring staff from approaching you and enquiring if they can help you with anything. |
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[MikeD] The poorly phrased "repeal" of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" is actually a repeal of " Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654)" that prohibits homosexuals from serving in the military, or more properly, an instruction to the militiary to enact such repeal as soon as practical. |
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It is not truly a repeal of the DADT policy, which was, at the time of its passing, a more inclusive policy than what was in place. |
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//is actually a repeal of " Pub.L. 103-160 (10 U.S.C. § 654)" // |
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I have been informed that the new policy has indeed been signed into effect by our commander in chief President Obama. |
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Allow me to iterate my personal feelings in regards to this new policy: |
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I fully support the President and the new policy involving uniformed service of homosexual individuals. I will do everything with my scope of power to facilitate the incorporation of homosexuals into the U.S. Army, and make sure the environment in which they serve is respectful of, and nondiscriminatory to their newly sanctioned lifestyle. |
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<expressionless visage with eyes staring straight ahead, voice devoid of emotion> |
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The leadership within the ranks of the U.S. Army, myself included, will not stand for, nor tolerate any acts of discrimination. |
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Why does it matter to you, where someone else puts parts of their anatomy? Also, why does it matter to you what someone else thinks of your bag? |
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[pom], is that one question, or two ? |
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Hey! 21! Don't ask don't tell! |
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Got yer man bag right here. |
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But seriously, how about making is shaped like two big hairy nuts and wearing it like a fanny pack in front? Then people will just think you've got enormous balls and you'll be the toast of the town. I can picture the commercial: |
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(Guy walks in and everybody turns their heads.) "Hey, look at that guy! He's got Huge Balls!" (tm) Guys high-5, women stare in awe, goats faint, the President walks in and gives him a medal. Cut to the Nobel prize committee passing around a picture and stroking their chins or whatever while nodding. "So it's decided!" then they all do fist bumps and start dancing. Then a big tickertape parade with the guy riding in a convertible full of beautiful women, he winks at the camera and gives a thumbs up. "Thanks Huge Balls!" |
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A bun for letting me act like an idiot on your post. [+] |
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Surely the appropriate act would be to throw it on the
ground, throw yourself on top of it, and tell everyone to get
clear? |
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//Surely the appropriate act would be to throw it on the ground, throw yourself on top of it, and tell everyone to get clear?// |
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But if they turn out to be real it might be kind of embarrasing. |
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No no. My 'purse' is always a sight to behold upon
realisation. |
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