h a l f b a k e r yGet half a life.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
[names changed to protect the innocent]
Hon and Jazel were enjoying a splendid
night out at the Master Baker's Ball.
Whilst in the throes of socialising, Hon
suddenly felt a sharp, dagger-like pain in
his chest. It ripped at his heart - Hon,
from his previous career as a cardiac
specialist,
recognised the signs of a
cardiac infarction. "Shite arse, a heart
attack" yellopped Jazel!
But Hon was calm. Strangely calm. (not
dead mind you, that'd be a rubbish story)
Hon was wearing a special tuxedo - a
new defilbrillating dinner jacket, a heart-
shaking suit to kick start his organ. The
in-sleeve heart monitor picked up the
irregularities in his blood pumper,
diagnosed cardiac arrest and the in-lapel
heart voltage source kicked into action.
"Stand clear", sounded the in-collar
loudspeaker warning system.
... and with a enormous shock from the
in-tail battery source, Hon's heart was
back in order, in time for canapes and
speeches.
LifeCor LifeVest
http://www.lifecor.com/
Pretty much baked: wearable defibrillartor [Acme, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]
[link]
|
| |
there is an effort in the States to put defibrilators in every restaurant, and other public places, I believe -- can't find a link right away... |
|
| |
//a ... shaking suit to kick start his organ.//
After dinner bedroom utility as well! |
|
| |
Can I have one for in the mornings? |
|
| |
(R S) maybe Howsur Sternum? |
|
| |
It makes sense that being aware of a potentially life-threatening health issue, one should be prepared 24/7. With asthma I keep inhalers and required treatment elements readily available, as diabetics would stay prepared. I'm wondering though about the requisite items built into a D J... is this choice with alternatives or options? I mean, is it available as say, for under shirts or in women's wardrobe items also? Like something you could affix to different or new items for daily wear.. Heck just the in-sleeve monitor would enable some people to engage in and enjoy life more. |
|
| |
Could be hilarious to watch/seriously life threatening if it went off accidentally, depending on your disposition... atrial fibrillation, anyone? |
|
| |
Listening to this anecdote, I can't get the lyrics for Elton John's "Someone Saved My life Tonight" out of my ear, and wonder if there isn't more than a passing similarity to Hon and Jazel in the story telling. Ah, butterflies. |
|
| |
Also available: the optional Heimlich maneuver accessory. |
|
| |
That would be disasterous if it went wrong, [bris]. |
|
| |
Don't know if I'd like to have a DJ with the weight of all the batteries that are required. |
|
| |
If you're wearing it in a restaurant you could probably have a mains version which plugs into the socket nearest your table. You'd just need to be slightly careful when going to the loo. |
|
| |
"Hon's having another heart attack! Someone get an extesion cord." |
|
| |
Last night a D.J. saved my life |
|
| |
Last night a D.J. saved my life
yeah |
|
| |
'cause I was sittin' there bored to death
And in just one breath he said: You gotta get up |
|
| |
You gotta get off
you gotta get down
girl.
You know
you drive me crazy
baby |
|
| |
You've got me turning to another man.
Called you on the phone
no one's home -
And if it wasn't for the music
I don't know what I do.
Last night a D.J. saved my life |
|
| |
Last night a D.T. saved my life
from a broken heart.
Last night a D.J. saved my life |
|
| |
Start up the DJ, and all the lights dim everywhere else. Very romantic. |
|
| |
"Would sir like the optional MMR scanner attachment?" |
|
| |
this is just a pun isn't it? |
|
| |
What if you spill something on it? And is Hon even a male name? Why do I ask stupid questions? Do you think my ass is getting bigger? |
|
| |
//this is just a pun isn't it?// It's a baked pun at that, I may have to complain to a moderator... |
|
| |
// What if you spill something on it? And is Hon even a male name? Why do I ask stupid questions? Do you think my ass is getting bigger? // |
|
| |
It gets wet. No it's not. I have no idea. Yep, without doubt. |
|
| |
[wagster] I'm writing a note to myself now to complain. This is an outrage. |
|
| |