h a l f b a k e r y"This may be bollocks, but it's lovely bollocks."
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Suppose there's a tragic accident and someone gets electrocuted. If the household later receives a bill, not only is it likely to be traumatic, but they are actually being billed for the item which killed the member of the household concerned. Consequently, i think that a fatal electrocution should
qualify the person whose name is on the bill, or their heir, for free electricity for life.
[link]
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But if I ineptly rewire my house and elecrocute myself, then it's my fault, and so it would be odd to ask the electricity supplier (or, more accurately, all the other customers of the electricity supplier) to pay. And should they pay if I am murdered or commit suicide with a fatal electric shock? |
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It's not about compensation, it's about relieving trauma. Even if it's your fault, you're dead and other people are likely to be unhappy as a result. The same applies to suicide. If murder's involved and it's discovered, you're in prison anyway and you're not going to benefit, but the other people living there are unlikely to be having a wonderful time, since one person's been murdered and another has gone to prison.
Concerning cost, when we receive water rates bills, they include an option to donate to a third world water charity. If the same was done with this, not only would it fund it, but it might also raise awareness of safety. |
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OK, but you'll need some foolproof way of measuring the misery of those you leave behind to determine their elegibility to free electricity. |
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Surely this will tempt some unscrupulous individuals to electrocute some elderly relative, not only ensuring prompt inheritance, but also freedom from subsequent utility bills ? |
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A spate of "Yes, she always used to make her breakfast toast while having her bath. We did warn her about it ...." statements to Coroner's courts seems likely. |
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I'm aware of the crispy crusty problem and have no answer for that right now. [Hippo], i think you'd just have to let a few people slip through the net.
Here's a possible solution. On the whole, you'd be bumping them off for their fortunes, so the answer would be for them to advertise the fact that there's a clause in their Will that in the event of their death by electrocution for whatever reason, all the money goes to the cats' home. |
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OK - lets extend this idea to other causes of death. Skiing accident - free winter holidays. Lung cancer - free cigarettes. |
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The list is fun but endless ... |
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I did think about gas explosions (after all, i do that every seven seconds anyway), but they would probably lead to homelessness, which is expensive to compensate. Then again, a costly consequence to a fatal accident would motivate safety measures, which actually would not be a good thing. |
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Could electricity, being the culprit, be put on trial and convicted? What would be the punishment? |
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// What would be the punishment ? // |
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"Put in a Cell, and Charged with a Salt and Battery" |
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(Maximus Gronius, 48 B.C., and not original then). |
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[8th...] Ohm my, that sentence will meet some resistance. |
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The Defendant could always plead Diminished Capacity, or claim they were Induced to do it, with an element of Reluctance. |
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// Well my husband died but at least I have free electricity now. // |
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Sadly, that is more likely to be, "My husband is dead, and now I have free electricity too !" |
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[8th...] //Diminished Capacity//, you owe me a new keyboard! And it should be, Diminished Capacitance, [marked-for-tagline] while we are at it... |
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Maybe change the business model. You donate one family member to the Matrix, then you get free electricity. Or, the self-sufficient version: Tank in the corner of the room containing comatose loved one, used to provide the rest of the house with power. So, everyone gets free power and there's no bumping off problem. |
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I've said it before and I'll say it again. You guys crack me up, there is nowhere in the world with as good puns as here. |
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You raise an important point, [bigsleep]. You would at least have to provide IV nutrients, which would cost money. For this reason, it might be better merely to turn them into a zombie and strap their feet to pedals. I've got the stuff in the front room for the first bit. |
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I am shocked and uh, palled. |
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So let me get this right, Coulombo. The murderer killed his wife by electrocution, so that he could evoke the free-electricity clause in the family utility contract and get to run the massively power-intensive cold-fusion experiments in his basement for free!? |
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// free-electricity clause // |
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Is that anything like the Sanity Clause ? |
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does this apply to water, gas, rope and carpet slippers? |
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As well as rope, probably wise to add candlesticks, daggers, lead piping, revolvers and spanners ..... |
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It would be more logical to benefit from the free electricity *before* your fatal accident. This would be offered by the Faustian Pact Power Co. - you'd basically sign up for their free electricity tariff on the understanding that at some point during the ensuing decades they will come round and give you a fatal electric shock, after which the loved ones you leave behind will have to start paying for electricity again. This has the significant advantages over [nineteenthly]'s idea that you actually benefit from the free electricity while you're still alive enough to enjoy it, and your relatives aren't incentivised to bump you off. Obviously some regulatory framework will be needed to ensure the date of your execution is truly random, and the power company aren't killing all their customers on this tariff early to save money. |
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Well that's it, i've come full circle, because that's effectively my idea that car parks should be paid for by randomly confiscating vehicles, which was the first thing i ever posted on the Halfbakery. So, what do i do now? Go off somewhere and get a life? |
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//what do i do now?// I've been pondering that one for a while now. |
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tried twittering yet, 19thly? hee hee |
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Yes, and i find it hugely pointless. However, i have very much taken on your point about succinctness. Now if there was a site where one could submit a daily novel or other magnum opus... |
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//Well that's it, i've come full circle//
That's it then, I've come full squared and now
I'm
four times more. Yet each side is more four
squared than before. Poor me. |
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Now Sproket over there...with the cute
little black cord mustache,
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yeah you...19thingly... Mr. Prong...
I just don't know what to say about your
CURRENT problemo. |
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\\ I've come full squared and now I'm
four times more. //
Yet each side is more four
squared than before.
Poor me. |
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You got yourself the makins of a fine country and western ditty there. |
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