Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ejacugard 3000

 Prevents unwanted ejaculation
 
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The Ejacugard 3000 is a futuristic device which prevents unwanted male ejaculation in a variety of circumstances and weather. Composed of pure alloy steel, titanium and rubber, it is the lightest and least bulky such device on the market. Those who are troubled by unwanted ejaculation are will receive almost complete protection. It is guaranteed to perform well up to 3,500 meters and down to 6 atmospheres of pressure when diving, as well as temperatures down to -40 C. The "3000" refers to the device's futuristic features.
—obitsman, Dec 06 2018

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       How?
—whatrock, Dec 06 2018
   

       Why?   

       But, in any event, welcome to the Halfbakery. In the event of a fire, an alarm will sound and we will assemble in the courtyard next to the trebuchet.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 06 2018
   

       Kinda makes you wonder what The Ejacugard 2999 was like...Probably like one of those thing-a-ma-jigs.
—blissmiss, Dec 07 2018
   

       The 2999? It was a one-off.   

         

         

       (sorry)
—lurch, Dec 07 2018
   

       What's wrong with simply using a photograph of Jacob Rees Mogg?
—MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 07 2018
   

       //...prevents unwanted male ejaculation...//   

       Wouldn't a portrait of Fatty Arbuckle in Drag accomplish the same thing?
—Grogster, Dec 07 2018
   


 

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