h a l f b a k e r yRenovating the wheel
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A lovely young lady I know, recently took possession of a new car - She always likes having fluffy stuffed toy animals around her (adorning her desk, in her car) - she gives them names, and characters of their own.
However, she hates technical manuals.
One little birdy that came with the car contains
a small microprocessor, a speech chip, a few menu buttons, an accelerometer and a database of technical information about her car and various situations - (What to do in the event of an accident, how to change a spare wheel, tire pressures, service reminders etc...)
{more editing to do...}
lots of choices for your *bird*
http://www.stuffedark.com/indexbeak.htm
[xandram, Aug 17 2007]
Possible upgrade
Plastic_20Jesus_20S..._2fLaser_20Detector
Can be aslo combined with this guy. [xipetotec, Aug 17 2007]
RSPB - Toy fluffy birds
http://shopping.rsp....cfm/rspb/76600/1/1
...which sing sampled (real) bird sounds... [Dub, Aug 18 2007]
SatNav Teddybear
http://www.pinktent...-navigation-system/
[Dub, Jun 04 2008]
[link]
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Hope you never need this. |
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Big Bird in overalls sitting on the back seat. |
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How to drive and apply makeup? |
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"your friend can't read?" |
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no, she's lovely. ahem... |
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+ Though I'm not a huge fan of cutesy, stuffed animals, I love birds and hate reading manuals, so I'd love one of these.
<drives around with parrot on shoulder> |
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//Arrrr, avast ye matey, take ye the next left, to avoid congestion on the A217, arrrrrrrrrr// |
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//Take the A8, take the A8// |
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Thinking about it, why don't satnav systems have "Pirate" as one of their voice options? Beats the hell out of me. |
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Because nobody knows what the hell direction port and starboard are. |
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Port and starboard are easy. "Port" has fewer letters than "starboard". "Left" has fewer letters than "right". Easy to remember. |
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Well, obviously - pass the port to the left. |
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...and Starboard was named after the Steer-board held off the right-side of vessels, because most sailors are/were right-handed |
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[wags] I'm sure we've discussed mother-in-law voice SatNags, in the past |
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//Because nobody knows what the hell
direction port and starboard are.// It's
easy. Just remember that "Port" starts with
"P" which is the first letter of "pneumatic",
which ends in a "C" for "Coeliac" which has
an "L" in the middle. And "L", of course,
stands for "Lisp", which would be
pronounced "Lithp" if you had one, which
ends in "P" which stands for "Port". See,
we got there in the end. |
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That doesn't work for me, [Maxwell] because, you know, Port is short for the city where my mom lives, Port Angeles, which is another name for a small town in California called Los Angeles, where the Rams football team used to play, wich starts with R, which stands for "right". And "Starboard" stands for "something anyone in their right mind would pay billions for in an overly animated drunken stupor", which is of course a box of golden cheerios, tilted onto its left side, which reminds me of the word "left", the past tense of "leave", which starts with "L", just like "Left". So it's all confusing. |
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[Awol]OK, why are the ports on my computer, at the back? |
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A most excellent idea. May I suggest it
be called: The Car-nary ?
(awards
two croissants - eats one, feeds crumbs
to bird) |
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[xandram]re: Your link... almost exactly what I had in mind (my link) |
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All I can get this da*n white goose to say is "AFLAC!" |
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I usually break down out in the middle of nowhere. I'll opt for the vulture version and give you the bun since my bird will only eat rotting flesh. [+] |
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