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anti-venom and anti-throttle socks

 protect your ankles from snakes.
  (+7, -2)
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before tramping through snake infested fields, swamps and ditches, make sure you are properly kitted out with these anti-venom/anti-throttle socks.

many snakes detest perfumes, and to this end these socks are impregnated with 1 litre of pure stale male sweat and baked in an ordinary oven for three weeks at mark 6 until the ankle area is rock hard approximately 7 on the moh scale. the smell will put off any sensible snake and the hardness factor would prevent any constrictor type snake getting a serious grip on your leg.

as a further precaution, dead mice are knotted by the tails to threads suspended from the top of the sock. any snake daft enough to get near these socks is rewarded with a mouse treat giving you enough time to leg it to safe ground.

—po, Jan 06 2005

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       .......waiting for the illustration........
—normzone, Jan 06 2005
   

       [po]: //impregnated with 1 litre of pure stale male sweat//, //rock hard//   

       Have you been rifling through my brother's gym bag?
—contracts, Jan 06 2005
   

       phew, no! <holds nose>
—po, Jan 07 2005
   

       Being somewhat fashion-conscious, I would dye my socks and mice with camoflage to match my combat trousers.
—wagster, Jan 07 2005
   

       And a sweaty mongoose as a companion, that should do it.
—skinflaps, Jan 07 2005
   

       You'd have to travel alone, and you'd have to not have a sense of smell or decency.   

       And yeah, illustrate.
—notmarkflynn, Jan 04 2006
   

       illustrate? moi? HA HA! o.k. you got me wondering.   

       I don't have a sense of anything really.
—po, Jan 04 2006
   

       Two days short of a year later, and to quote the Talking Heads, "I'm stiiiiiill waiting, I'm stiiiiiill waiting".
—normzone, Jan 04 2006
   


 

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