h a l f b a k e r y"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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before tramping through snake infested fields, swamps and ditches, make sure you are properly kitted out with these anti-venom/anti-throttle socks.
many snakes detest perfumes, and to this end these socks are impregnated with 1 litre of pure stale male sweat and baked in an ordinary oven for three
weeks at mark 6 until the ankle area is rock hard approximately 7 on the moh scale. the smell will put off any sensible snake and the hardness factor would prevent any constrictor type snake getting a serious grip on your leg.
as a further precaution, dead mice are knotted by the tails to threads suspended from the top of the sock. any snake daft enough to get near these socks is rewarded with a mouse treat giving you enough time to leg it to safe ground.
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.......waiting for the illustration........ |
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[po]: //impregnated with 1 litre of pure stale male sweat//, //rock hard// |
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Have you been rifling through my brother's gym bag? |
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Being somewhat fashion-conscious, I would dye my socks and mice with camoflage to match my combat trousers. |
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And a sweaty mongoose as a companion, that should do it. |
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You'd have to travel alone, and you'd have to not have a sense of smell or decency. |
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illustrate? moi? HA HA! o.k. you got me wondering. |
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I don't have a sense of anything really. |
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Two days short of a year later, and to quote the Talking Heads, "I'm stiiiiiill waiting, I'm stiiiiiill waiting". |
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