h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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Why is that cars have decent gauges, but people do not?
For example, you have a warning sensation in your head that indicates, “Full Bladder”. But, unfortunately, it doesn’t have an intermediate setting (at least not for me). It says fine, fine, fine, full bladder. No other warning.
A device
is needed.
The idea is a belt-mounted device that sends out an ultrasonic white noise signal into the lower body, at intervals. The size of the bladder distension results in resonance for a certain wavelength. With a series of green, yellow and red LEDs, the device then indicates the full range of the bladder, from empty, to goddamit stop the car.
And since it's non-imaging (non-scanning), its simple and cheap.
[link]
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is this like the gizmo they scan pregnant women with and present them with a little picture? if it is, can we get a photo to show our friends. "look this is my bladder on the day we went to the zoo and it was freezing cold and we couldn't find a loo - aint it sweet?" |
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Since this idea is surprisingly sensible and not in fact obnoxious, insulting, demeaning or a candiate for the category "Childish Obsession: Toilet" I shall award a croissant (q.v.). |
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Actually, there is an ultrasound bladder scanner, quite a compact unit; and it doesn't give a picture. Just a little readout in ml of current volume. |
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Thank you lurch, and here I thought I was a trailblazer in human instrumentation. |
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But, looking at those devices you mentioned, they don’t use resonance. They visualize the bladder and then calculate the volume from the picture. That seems kinda complicated, and you would have to lug a computer around. |
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Portable ultrasound imaging? I'm not sure it's worth the cost, especially considering that the rate of urine production can vary greatly, meaning that a half-full bladder may last you hours or minutes depending on how much urine you're producing. |
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Pictures[bliss] slamming on brakes muttering "potty check,potty check" to herself only to return to find car missing. |
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How about a catheter that drains through an underchassis bleed tube? You could have a sterile catheter dispenser in place of the ashtray. Alternatively, some pilots use a porta-potty (or so I'm told). |
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//Portable ultrasound imaging// That's worth an idea post in itself. I'd like one as a USB-connected periferal. |
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Mine has three settings: Fine, full bladder, dance now. |
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It would be useful for kids, as in the rush to don hats, gloves, coats, shoes and not actually lose any of the little dears, it can be all too easy to forget to make them go until they're all buttoned and muffled up. |
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An unwanted side effect is that applying enough energy to generate resonance may stimulate bladder emptying. A common 'trick' of doctors when dealing with urinary retention is to percuss the bladder externally which can often cause it to void. Extensive testing might be needed to ensure that just switching on the device didn't render it superfluous! |
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To do this you'd need to have some sort of tube stuck into your bladder, for men this can be one of the most painful experiences imaginable. |
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Texas caths are often glued to the user in all manner of entertaining ways. |
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Thank you, but I think I could have lived the rest of my life without hearing about that. |
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I suggest a computerised implant which could measure the contents of the bladder |
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Rather than measuring the actual volume of the bladder contents, a transducer that measured the pressure might be better as that might be a better indicator of the need to go. |
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Good thinking dave, but why are you a one off? |
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[egbert] //Mine has three settings: Fine, full bladder, dance now.// |
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The universal bladder dance: |
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Tiny steps in place, knees bent, and with wrists crossed to make an X over the bladder. Generally as a solitary performance in front of a locked door, but sometimes as a line dance... |
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<suspicious> You been watching me?<suspicious> |
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<fine, fine, fine, watched!> |
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////Portable ultrasound imaging// That's worth an idea post in itself// baked: GE logiqbook. we have one at work and it's pretty nifty. high resolution US imaging with video storage in the form of a thick laptop. great fun. i keep imagining setting it up outside a hospital and offering cut price scans: (complete with childish painted sign with backwards letters "cheep µltrasounÞ") Medical Busking! |
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Portable ultrasonography of the bladder is in wide use and is, to a degree, accurate. That fails the test for differentiating fullness from perceived fullness, which wastes much time before catheterization is in order. |
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I'm still halfbaking the details of my 'grand scheme', but suffice it to say the plan involves a transdermal patch and visible indicators for nerve or muscle strain. |
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