h a l f b a k e r yAssume a hemispherical cow.
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Nicely ironed clothes look just right when you put them on in the morning. Unfortunately, sitting down to breakfast, taking the transportation of your choice to work, and pretty much sitting anywhere will wrinkle them up before you know it.
Enter Wrinkle-B-Gone Steaming Undergarments.
Simply slip
these on before anything else, then dress as you please. Sensors in the butt and back detect when you are sitting down. When you stand up again, tiny jets of steam directed outward in a few short bursts relax those wrinkles away. Returning home, simply refill the bladder and recharge the unit, both discreetly located at the waistband.
Caution: Do not put the Wrinkle-B-Gone Steaming Undergarments on inside out.
[link]
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Proposed ad tagline: "Are those your Wrinkle-B-Gones, or are
you just glad to see me?" |
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To the Great Unwashed and the Unrefined, the short bursts of steam may sound like a queasy fart. The research and development team at GROG Inc. is working the issue. However, on the upside, it assures you of ample room on the subway as people scoot away. |
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//Returning home, simply refill the bladder// Wait, there's
an obvious inefficiency here. The garment is located
adjacent to a source of fluid which would otherwise be
discarded. Only one technical hitch, and that's the odor. |
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Easily remedied, [mouse]. One may scent the water in the bladder with the perfume or cologne of one's choice. Alternately, one may scent it with ammonia or Limburger cheese. Different strokes for different folks... |
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[Ian], so far as I know he might never have had the opportunity to sit down after donning his finery. (maybe he lived next door to his laboratory) I was referring to his experiments with dogs (whom, I'm assuming, were hard pressed) in reference to your anno //...people will come to associate...//. |
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That's why you should always wear dark pants. You never know... |
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