Time Speed Selector Service

If you feel like time is racing by, a good way to slow it down is to order something you like that takes "6 to 8 weeks for delivery". Boy, will the hours _c r a w l_ by. Conversely, if you want to speed up time, settle into a weekly routine. Do the same thing every Monday, read the same magazine every Tuesday, eat the same food every Wednesday, etc. Before you know it, you'll be 5 years older.

Time Speed Selector Services of America can help you control the rate at which time flows. For a monthly fee, TSSS will send you magazines, toys, goodies, and electronic items that you tell them you want, at intervals and with novelty levels which will cause you to feel as if time is flowing at a particular rate.

You won't know exactly what you'll get or when, but there is a dial on your wall that says "TIME", which you can set to "SLOWER" or "FASTER". (This dial is installed by TSSS when you sign up for the service).

You can also log on to their website and there is a slider control which you can click and drag with your mouse. But that's not as much fun.

Whoops, time to go.