Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Time Speed Selector Service

 This will cost money.
 
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If you feel like time is racing by, a good way to slow it down is to order something you like that takes "6 to 8 weeks for delivery". Boy, will the hours _c r a w l_ by. Conversely, if you want to speed up time, settle into a weekly routine. Do the same thing every Monday, read the same magazine every Tuesday, eat the same food every Wednesday, etc. Before you know it, you'll be 5 years older.

Time Speed Selector Services of America can help you control the rate at which time flows. For a monthly fee, TSSS will send you magazines, toys, goodies, and electronic items that you tell them you want, at intervals and with novelty levels which will cause you to feel as if time is flowing at a particular rate.

You won't know exactly what you'll get or when, but there is a dial on your wall that says "TIME", which you can set to "SLOWER" or "FASTER". (This dial is installed by TSSS when you sign up for the service).

You can also log on to their website and there is a slider control which you can click and drag with your mouse. But that's not as much fun.

Whoops, time to go.

—phundug, Jun 23 2004

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       //this will cost money// Doesn't everything?   

       This sounds like consumer advice to me. Is the new clock just a circle that says "time"? if so, what good does it do? It doesn't tell me when my favorite show is on, nor does it tell me when my free minutes start or when I need to get up for work.   

       My solution for making time go faster is to go on vacation. A week worth of vacation always seems to go by really fast.   

       My solution for making time go slower is to put in some overtime. A week's worth of 10-hour days always seems to go by so slowly.
—Freefall, Jun 23 2004
   

       Ask your boss to give you extra work for the day. Makes the day go slower.
—kbecker, Jun 24 2004
   


 

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