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Three Quarter Pints

For when a swift half ain't enough.
  (+5)
(+5)
  [vote for,
against]

when guzzling a pint would be a farce
and leave you feeling bloated,
but drinking from a 'ladies glass'
would with contempt be noted,

when you live in a country of mills and inns
where metric's the devil's measure,
but a pint's too much, and a half won't do,
and half way lies your pleasure,

when you know a half won't quench your thirst
but a whole pint seems like greed,
if drinking in litres seems perverse,
a three-quarter pint's what you need.

Fishrat, Jun 11 2004

(?) A Trading Standards document www.dundeecity.gov.uk/ehts/03annual.pdf
Check page 7 [angel, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Again http://www.tradings.../pages/consumer.htm
Search for "third" [angel, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

(?) The Capacity Serving Measures (Intoxicating Liquor) Regulations 1988 http://www.hmso.gov...lighter_first_match
"beer and cider shall be sold by retail only in a quantity of 1/3 pint, œ pint or a multiple of œ pint" [DrBob, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

The Capacity Serving Measures... 2010 http://www.nmodoito..._consultversion.pdf
The world looks better at the bottom of a large glass. [whatrock, May 07 2016]

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       Buy a pint, you Pommie git
Drink most of it, and leave a bit.
Ling, Jun 11 2004
  

       leaving beer is sacrilegious,
if from pom you're indiginous.
Fishrat, Jun 11 2004
  

       P.S. (No offence intended; apologies extended)
Ling, Jun 11 2004
  

       Pubs in UK are permitted (or is it 'obliged'?) to sell beer by the pint, half-pint and third-pint. Try asking for two-thirds of a pint.
angel, Jun 11 2004
  

       Wow [angel] that is a truly wonderful fact. I shall be out to investigate this evening.   

       My favourite beer quantity is the noggin - a quarter of a pint. [jonthegeologist] is fond of asking if one 'needs the extra noggin' if it's his round and you're not far into your pint.   

       A bun, for the lines // when you live in a country of mills and inns where metric's the devil's measure// if nothing else.
hazel, Jun 11 2004
  

       Bun earned for artistic expression alone.
harderthanjesus, Jun 11 2004
  

       Tick. V.Good.

I, too, shall be making enquiries of the bar-keep tonight. If I get beaten up and chucked out into the gutter, angel, I'll know who to blame.
DrBob, Jun 11 2004
  

       My second link suggests that beer and cider are "required" to be sold in units of one third, one half and multiples thereof.
angel, Jun 11 2004
  

       One of those rare occasions when the bun's for the anno, not the idea...   

       //Buy a pint, you Pommie git,   

       Drink most of it, and leave a bit.//   

       The poetry in the original deserves a bun too, but I've only got one... sorry... (+)
david_scothern, Jun 11 2004
  

       [DrBob] But that happens to you every night...
hippo, Jun 11 2004
  

       Maybe the best options would be: One half and one third (83.3%) for real ales, guinness, and anything which requires plenty of head. Meanwhile two thirds (66.6%) for cider and - gulp - lager. I still think I'd prefer to campaign for a magical 75% measure though.
Fishrat, Jun 11 2004
  

       Not true hippo. Some nights I don't go to the pub at all.
DrBob, Jun 11 2004
  

       once again I bow down to both your literary and puberary genius. bunderful
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       //One half and one third (83.3%) for real ales, guinness, and anything which requires plenty of head//   

       don't EU regulations say that the head shouldn't be included in the measure, or was I drunk when I heard / made that up?
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       Legislation found. Link added. "beer and cider shall be sold by retail only in a quantity of 1/3 pint, œ pint or a multiple of œ pint" so you can order a third of a pint if it's available but it's not compulsory to sell thirds of a pint so I doubt that you'd have much luck. Two thirds and three-quarters of a pint are illegal - unless you are fortunate enough to frequent a pub which will serve you a 'Sussex half'.
DrBob, Jun 11 2004
  

       whats a 'Sussex Half' Bob?
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       It varies, etherman, depending upon how friendly you are with the bar staff. It's a bit more than a standard half pint and a bit less than a standard pint.
DrBob, Jun 11 2004
  

       ah right, well in Ireland we have a different problem, trying to order a half pint and being persuaded/goaded into buying a full one. Think Mrs. Doyle in Father Ted,   

       'ah go on, ya will, ya will, ya will... (repeat forever).'
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       (+)   

       That time when you're very drunk But you ain't yet had enough of the gunk, You want more than a half, A pint would make you barf Three-quarts would be a slam-dunk!!!
britboy, Jun 11 2004
  

       I know its not the same but what about a 330ml bottle?
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       Beer is not metric; it comes in proper Imperial measures, the more archaic the better.
angel, Jun 11 2004
  

       //I know its not the same but what about a 330ml bottle?//   

       No. You seem to have confused beer with poncey continental lager. Beer and millilitres do not good bedfellows make.
hazel, Jun 11 2004
  

       there are some proper beers / ales in bottles not just poncey ones. Guinness in fact, warm off the shelf is bliss. and what ever the measurement its a good half way house. i'd be all for 3/4 pint bottles too.
etherman, Jun 11 2004
  

       I knew a Scandinavian girl, once. She had a face like a Norse.
Ling, May 07 2016
  

       Whether filled with guns and bombs
or flowered words or noisy gongs
ideas writ in funny songs
will always make me smile

But wait, there's more in this vanguard
of thought: the beer! if not by yard
So here's to you, [fishrat], our bard:
you went the extra mile.
Voice, May 08 2016
  


 

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