Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Gas Menagerie

 Adding some of nature's beauty to otherwise meaningless lives.
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ELDERLY SPINSTERS: Why fill your home (and empty life) with revolting crystal animals like every other decrepit old maid in the neighbourhood when you can fill it with GAS? The 'Gas Menagerie' is an attractive three level teak display case complete with a selection of gases, both popular and exotic. The few guests you have will marvel at the beauty of this gaseous zoo as you bore them with inane tales of your dead husband, the price of groceries in the 1950s or the decline of society. It might even delay their awkward departure by an extra five minutes.

The 'starter set' comes with five assorted gases in attractive mass-produced chemistry flasks, and if you order today you'll receive an added bonus gift of THE COMPLETE noble gases.

—rodti, Oct 14 2005

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       I'll take three.
—calum, Oct 14 2005
   

       Is this to be sold alongside other limited edition, heirloom items such as the Lady Diana, Princess of Hearts Commemorative Car Accident Chess Set, or the Cliff Richard, Gentleman Saviour of Pop Celebratory Collection Nativity Scene? Available for only 60 (or more) payments of £4.99, pay nothing today!
—zen_tom, Oct 15 2005
   

       spinsters don't have dead husbands.
—po, Oct 15 2005
   

       You forgot to mention that the shelves come pre-stacked with a selection of nitrogen, oxygen and carbon dioxide.
—wagster, Oct 15 2005
   

       Nice pun, I mean idea.
—blissmiss, Oct 15 2005
   

       Add real animals rather than crystal and you're on to a winner.   

       Laughing gas + gerbil = giggling gerbil   

       Cruelty would be wrong so I'd draw the line before we got to   

       Cyanide + cat = dead cat   

       Hang on, we could arrange things so we couldn't see the cat in the box and we could arrange for the cyanide only to be released in response to some random event - like the decay of an atomic nucleus. Then it wouldn't be cruel because we'd never know. Wait - this bit's been done already.
—DenholmRicshaw, Oct 15 2005
   

       Oh, *glass* menagerie. Didn't get it.
—wagster, Oct 15 2005
   

       An ideal gift for a loved one. Hurry before supplies are gone!
—Cuit_au_Four, Oct 16 2005
   

       And, just to keep the record straight, Tennessee Williams' "Glass Menagerie" was copyrighted in 1945, not the 1950s. But, in case you *were* interested in the price of groceries in 1950 in the US when Ike was President, the cost of a dozen eggs was US$0.65; the cost of a gallon of milk was US$0.82; the cost of a first class postage stamp was US$0.03; the cost of a gallon of gas was $0.20; the cost of a new car was $1,750.
—jurist, Oct 17 2005
   

       I've just added to the collection. You may want to step away and open a window.
—coprocephalous, Oct 17 2005
   

       There goes $0.20 we'll never get back again.
—jurist, Oct 17 2005
   

       Oh, I don't know, I'm sure I'll manage another in a little while.
—coprocephalous, Oct 17 2005
   

       Oh my athsma.   

       all hot air.
—po, Oct 17 2005
   

       //argon makes up a whopping 4% of air// sp. "whopping 0.93%"
I noticed [po]'s comment about spinsters went unheeded, though I suppose an old maid could also be a widow, if her husband and her didn't, you-know-what.
—coprocephalous, Oct 18 2005
   

       [po] //air// sp. //methane//.   

       (Ugh)Bloody hell, [copro] was that you? What HAVE you been eating? It's made my eyes water. I'm rescinding my offer of a curry.   

       If you're planing on putting on a wet-suit in the near future, I'd think again. - You'll end-up looking like Msr Michelin - Or if your doing it deliberately, Msr Micturin.   

       Hell, my mouse has stopped working too... It's desolved the mechanism in my MOUSE!
—Dub, Oct 18 2005
   

       “Damn. A week and my radon's turned into lead, the fluorine ate a hole in its flask and killed the cat, and my spinster sister, who's been married seven times, bless her, snorted up the oxygen while smoking Lady Chesterfields. Burned her to a crisp.”
—ldischler, Oct 18 2005
   

       "Are you collecting gas in here, or do I have brain damage?"
—reensure, Oct 18 2005
   


 

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