h a l f b a k e r yEureka! Keeping naked people off the streets since 1999.
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
browse anonymously,
or get an account
and write.
register,
|
|
|
As your consciousness returns you find your legs entrapped by the dashboard. You're bloody, you're in terrible pain and your first aid kit is no more than a bitter irony as it rests, useless in your trunk.
You succumb to hemorrhagic shock, your last few fleeting moments; frustrated and sardonic.
This
terrible death could have been avoided with "The Emergenceiling". A multi-pocketed car ceiling covering made of tough Cordura. Each of the many utility pockets filled with useful first-aid/emergency equipment.
Dress your wounds with gauze in pocket #14, see what your doing with the handy LED penlight from pocket #37. Disentangle your legs from the dashboard with the hacksaw blade in pocket #72 and control the bleeding from your self performed bilateral amputations with the hemostats in pocket #73 and #74.
Emergenceiling Deluxe comes stocked with the same emergency items as the standard model, plus convenience items such as cross-word puzzles and morphine.
[link]
|
| |
If there were many others similarly trapped alongside, and the shift lever had actually poked a hole in you, your last few fleeting moments might be fenestrated and sardinic. |
|
| |
And most notably: remove the spatula from #45 from your scalp with the spatual-remover from #46.... |
|
| |
//sardinic// - (adj.) - of, or relating to, sardines. |
|
| |
... with a good wine and some grapes it is fructated and sardic. |
|
| |