h a l f b a k e r yKeep out of reach of children.
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As your consciousness returns you find your legs entrapped by the dashboard. You're bloody, you're in terrible pain and your first aid kit is no more than a bitter irony as it rests, useless in your trunk.
You succumb to hemorrhagic shock, your last few fleeting moments; frustrated and sardonic.
This
terrible death could have been avoided with "The Emergenceiling". A multi-pocketed car ceiling covering made of tough Cordura. Each of the many utility pockets filled with useful first-aid/emergency equipment.
Dress your wounds with gauze in pocket #14, see what your doing with the handy LED penlight from pocket #37. Disentangle your legs from the dashboard with the hacksaw blade in pocket #72 and control the bleeding from your self performed bilateral amputations with the hemostats in pocket #73 and #74.
Emergenceiling Deluxe comes stocked with the same emergency items as the standard model, plus convenience items such as cross-word puzzles and morphine.
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Annotation:
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If there were many others similarly trapped alongside, and the shift lever had actually poked a hole in you, your last few fleeting moments might be fenestrated and sardinic. |
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And most notably: remove the spatula from #45 from your scalp with the spatual-remover from #46.... |
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//sardinic// - (adj.) - of, or relating to, sardines. |
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... with a good wine and some grapes it is fructated and sardic. |
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