h a l f b a k e r ynon-lame halfbakery tagline
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"Spandexius! What's that you're wearing?!"
"They're called jeans, Spandor has stolen all the spandex leaving us defenders of the universe nothing else to wear."
"But how can we fight crime without wearing spandex?"
"Look, this whole spandex thing is bullshit anyway, it's just because
it was easier for a 1930s comic book artist to draw, now we make three hundred million dollar superhero movies where everybody unquestioningly wears this anachronism."
"Gets rid of the crotch bulge conundrum I guess."
"Exactly! Now let's fly Spandoboy! Hold on, let me adjust my belt..."
THE SPANDEX PUNCHER
https://www.dropbox...xi&st=fkgg7bg5&dl=0
[doctorremulac3, Jan 05 2025]
[link]
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We must span the entire Galaxy! |
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"Though fitting into the image of hero may take a stretch, we must, with all of our might, force ourselves into these uniforms, struggle as necessary to dawn our visages to fight for justice while being flexible enough to bend, flex and conform to the challenges we face!" |
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Flexor speaking to the Spandexian 5 in "Spandor's Revenge". (c) (TM) (all rights reserved, DuPont Textiles LTD.) |
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Does Elastogirl stretch more, or her leggings? |
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Elastogirl (c) (TM) (all rights reserved) wouldn't be able to fight crime, injustice and evil without her uniform made of Spandex, the polyurethane polymer that's been saving the universe since it first appeared in 1958 after two decades of superheroes having to wear baggy, inflexible, itchy cotton costumes. |
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Yes, we might have truth, justice and the American way without Spandex, but probably not. |
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Wanna hear theme song? No? Here it is anyway. |
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"His mighty muscles, and massive pecs.
are wrapped in material that's ready to flex. |
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Don't try to cross him or you'll be next!
He's the Spandex Puncher! |
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PUNCH PUNCH! - PUNCH PUNCH!
PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! - PUNCH! - PUNCH!
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PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH!PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! |
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He's the Spandex Puncher!" |
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"Fighting for justice, he will indulge,
just try your best to ignore his bulge..." |
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Okay losing interest, time to get more coffee. |
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