h a l f b a k e r yThere goes my teleportation concept.
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"Spandexius! What's that you're wearing?!"
"They're called jeans, Spandor has stolen all the spandex leaving us defenders of the universe nothing else to wear."
"But how can we fight crime without wearing spandex?"
"Look, this whole spandex thing is bullshit anyway, it's just because
it was easier for a 1930s comic book artist to draw, now we make three hundred million dollar superhero movies where everybody unquestioningly wears this anachronism."
"Gets rid of the crotch bulge conundrum I guess."
"Exactly! Now let's fly Spandoboy! Hold on, let me adjust my belt..."
THE SPANDEX PUNCHER
https://www.dropbox...xi&st=fkgg7bg5&dl=0
[doctorremulac3, Jan 05 2025]
i had the opposite idea
villain_20barber_20kidnapping
the heroes should kidnap the villains barber to deprive him of his moustache [technobadger, Feb 16 2025]
[link]
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We must span the entire Galaxy! |
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"Though fitting into the image of hero may take a stretch, we must, with all of our might, force ourselves into these uniforms, struggle as necessary to dawn our visages to fight for justice while being flexible enough to bend, flex and conform to the challenges we face!" |
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Flexor speaking to the Spandexian 5 in "Spandor's Revenge". (c) (TM) (all rights reserved, DuPont Textiles LTD.) |
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Does Elastogirl stretch more, or her leggings? |
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Elastogirl (c) (TM) (all rights reserved) wouldn't be able to fight crime, injustice and evil without her uniform made of Spandex, the polyurethane polymer that's been saving the universe since it first appeared in 1958 after two decades of superheroes having to wear baggy, inflexible, itchy cotton costumes. |
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Yes, we might have truth, justice and the American way without Spandex, but probably not. |
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Wanna hear theme song? No? Here it is anyway. |
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"His mighty muscles, and massive pecs.
are wrapped in material that's ready to flex. |
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Don't try to cross him or you'll be next!
He's the Spandex Puncher! |
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PUNCH PUNCH! - PUNCH PUNCH!
PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! - PUNCH! - PUNCH!
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PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH!PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! PUNCH! |
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He's the Spandex Puncher!" |
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"Fighting for justice, he will indulge,
just try your best to ignore his bulge..." |
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Okay losing interest, time to get more coffee. |
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Episode II: Spandexious & Spandoboy Discuss Spandour & Lunch |
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Spandexious: Spandexeriffic day, Spandoboy! Ready to spandicate some villains and defend Spandour? |
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Spandoboy: Spandsolutely, Spandexious! But before we engage in our spandastic duties, my stomach is feeling a bit... spandempty. Maybe we should spandulge in some spandwiches? |
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Spandexious: Spandemonium is about to break loose, but I suppose we can spandwich it in before we spandinate evil. What’s your spandish of choice? |
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Spandoboy: A classic spamburger with extra spanduce! And a side of spandfries, of course. Gotta keep my spandnergy up for the spandventure ahead! |
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Spandexious: Spandceptional choice! But don’t forget, we must remain spandnimble and spandexplosive if we’re to stop Lord Spandark and his army of spandminions! |
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Spandoboy: Spandoubtedly! Spanding our way through their spandplot won’t be easy, but with the Spandexium Crystals, we’ll be spandomitable! |
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Spandexious: That’s the spanditude I like! Now, let’s spandish up our meal and head out to spandemonish some evil! Spand ready? |
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Spandoboy: Spandsolutley! To Spandour and beyond! |
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Spandexious: Spandvance, my spandtastic sidekick! Evil shall spandtremble before us! |
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Spandoboy: Spand on, my spandexalted mentor! Let’s make this a truly spanderful battle! |
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We regret to inform any fans of The Spandex Puncher that the series has been cancelled. Thank you for your spanderrific patience. |
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Sincerely, DuPont Corporation and its subsidiaries. |
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