h a l f b a k e r yIt might be better to just get another gerbil.
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How pleasing and good
to hear a match commentary
five seven and five
Call all trained poets
Bring forth their thesauruses
explain the action
Alternatively
for soccer, syllables count
four, four and then two?
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Annotation:
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Most commentators
have as much poetic skill
as Schwarzenegger |
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The halfcon idea
A match commentary haiku
I had thought it lost. |
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Jumpers for goalposts
Nurse applies cream to grazed knee
Isn't it though? hmmm? |
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thanks, Zircon, with you
Radio Five on M1
Most enjoyable.
And Stef, by whose hand
is bimetallic teaspoon
idea to be writ? |
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Sport and poetry
Like oil and water can't mix?
Yes, Naiku shoe ad. |
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By my own hand
the bimetallic teaspoon
half-baked this day.
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Michael Schumacher
Slows crossing the finish line
Barrichello wins! |
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One of the great goals in World Cup history went thus...
Zico...Socrates...
Car-ec-ca...Falcao...Zico
Socrates...Goooooooo-OAAAAAAAAL!
or, alternately, for the last ten minutes of any Liverpool game in the late '70's or early '80's, this circular haiku would describe the moment nicely...
Hansen…Lawrenson
Lawrenson back to Hansen
Now Grobbelaar, to… |
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Denver 23
Baltimore is 34
Ravens win the game. |
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the one true haiku
this autumn then, Bob's first
(woe for other side)
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[UB]actually, I was thinking of suggesting the older 'tanka' format;
5-7-5 followed by a 7-7 response. As I thought this would fit the passing back and for of the commentary between two commentators better. we discussed the true nature of Haikus at the halfcon, I didn't know about the last line sad thing but the seasonal words were covered. The form seems quite fluid though, with translated haikus not maintianing the syllable structure, so that they can keep their meaning and all. |
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Maybe the sportku could have a rule that it must have a colemanball in the middle somewhere, and as DrBob indicated if a point/goal is scored the last few syllables should be stressed heavily. |
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What was that haiku you said to me on the halfcon link? it was clever. |
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'E's done tremendous
- at the end of the day it's
a
game of two halves
For those of you
watch-
ing in Black and White, Spurs are
in the
yellow strip.
I'll sit on the fence,
they could
lose or win or draw.
It's fifty-fifty. |
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Bloody hell, that was quick... |
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That's 'cos I wasn't responding to your annotation - the
last anno I saw was your previous one - I just
had the same idea (great minds... etc.). |
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trajectory set;
rest of the team start brushing
around target spot.
slippy boots, bright coats,
Scottish ladies' team won gold
at curling; new craze? |
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Speeding o'er the waves.
Crowd roars. Aussies closing fast.
But it's Redgrave's gold! |
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hunched, point-three seconds
split time ahead. Skis on curve
..caught edge - aah! crash pads. |
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Like the snow outside,
the wrestler strewed salt around,
then crashed upon it. |
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on the farmer's field,
like winter hail, line breaks fall,
split hasty anno. |
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Fencing like Zorro,
Zircon marks his "Z", quick and
red as falling leaves. |
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Bold UnaBubba!
He tires of 5-7-5.
Zen-like:
4-0-0
Sport, non-sport are one.
Big smiles,
twirls, stupid costumes.
Synchronised swimming. |
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hippo's biting wit
unabubba will avenge
thinly veiled but soon. |
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Clever lewisgirl,
quick with her annotations.
Thesis
gathers dust. |
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On a bronze type day
Players gather fallen leaves
Place in piles and leap |
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The Spring training coach,
wisely, without hectoring,
gives encouragement. |
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madden is the man,
dennis miller couldn't hack
i'm glad he got fired. |
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The air thick with smoke
of leaves and Levi's of bliss.
Look before you leap. |
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Anaheim stands proud
Most boys of summer gone home
Angels in autumn |
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Stark and bleak and white
Snow flies effortlessly by
Covering skiers |
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Zircon fears the beast,
Imagined in the cold south,
Already so long,
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He notes fondness of bakers
For ideas poetic
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In our white walled worlds,
we all need something to do,
to distract from work,
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See now how Zircon attempts
a first five verse sport tanka
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Close call, but at end
points out that Torrence and team
Beat the U.S.A. |
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Half home far away
Is really right before me
Its phantoms' words dance
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I made a joke once
"Hut", means, "Let's go men", in french
He almost believed
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The sun lit blank eyes.
Gladiator life like sweat
ran into the dust. |
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I was having a think about this last night and, although sild is right about the general standard of sports commentary, there are times where they manage to get it absolutely spot-on. The commentary on some of the great moments in sport is really quite haiku-like in that they capture the essence of the moment, and although commentary's don't follow the rigid 5-7-5 format, they do seem, at the critical moments, to have a remarkably similar number of syllables. So, I'm going to call baked on this, and in evidence I present you with this classic moment in sports commentary...
"Oh, there's some people on the pitch. They think it's all over. It is now!" |
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<standard Scotsman's response> AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhh! Goannae shut the Hell up about that, you English types? It was near 40 years ago! </standard Scotsman's response> |
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The problem is, calum, that Scotland haven't had many great moments and have combined that with having rubbish commentators. Fortunately, their one truly outstanding moment was redeemed by a far better commentary twenty years later in 'Trainspotting'.
"Wow! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland."
17 syllables again, you see. It's funny how that 15 - 20 syllable range keeps cropping up on memorable comments. Perhaps it's just that anything longer is just too hard to remember and anything shorter isn't descriptive enough. I'm sure someone must have researched it. |
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Celtic or Rangers?
An incorrect answer will
Get you well chibbed
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Sectarian war,
That inherited disease,
Infects our fair land.
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When will we be free
From religious hatred
And rife bigotry?
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When the Clyde runs dry,
And Irn Bru is no longer
Sold in glass bottles. |
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Ahem. "SOME OF THE CROWD ARE ON THE PITCH." |
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Steam, like dragon's breath,
the samurai exhales as
sword slices his neck. |
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G W, look
Of all the ones, *Sportcasters!
Pitch is clear now. Play!
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Zircon, time has come
Income opportunity
*SPORTKU Merchandise!
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Gunners. For the Cup.
Div. One; I can't choose between
Preston/Coventry. |
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Nineteen Ninety Three
Motherwell victorious
Tears flow from my eyes
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Chances scorned by most
Couldn't watch game's last minutes
Arabs hit the post
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Can you answer this:
Should HalfBaking be a sport?
Nah. It doesn't pay. |
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