h a l f b a k e r yThe Out-of-Focus Group.
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[doc], you are destined to be the Kirby Groomkirby of the HB. |
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If you lost 10 lbs, it would say, "both feet on, you're
not fooling anyone." |
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I looked up Kirby Goomkirby. Thanks? |
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//If you lost 10 lbs, it would say, "both feet on,
you're not fooling anyone."// |
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The more stuff like that the more interesting it would be. |
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Let me put it this way, if you're supposed to weight
yourself regularly, and it's probably a good idea, wouldn't
you be interested to hear what smart-ass scale had to say
on any given day about the subject? |
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Some days it might be downright nihilistic. |
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"The universe is expanding at 68 km/s. Soon existence
itself will evaporate like a wisp of smoke in a
thunderstorm, but hold on, chubby here's lost half a
pound in only 3 months! Oh joy!" |
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Other days you might just get a: "Get the hell off me you
fat piece of crap! You've topped 350 pounds today!" |
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It could then make lots of sci-fi computer dying sound
effects, like the voice lowering, muttering stuff like
"Systemsssss faaailing...". |
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I'd love to have an obnoxious scale. Be kind of like a
psychological cold shower in the morning. |
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Any time of year
Polly will want a cracker
But you can't have one. |
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There's gotta be a Schrodinger's Toilet Seat there,
somewhere |
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There is. Drop cat into bowl, close lid, hold down and flush. The cat enters a state of quantum indeterminacy as to which side of the U-bend it is. |
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To collapse the wave function, lift the lid. This fixes the state of the cat, which is usually "very wet, and extremely angry". In accordance with Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, it is impossible to determine both the position and the velocity of the cat simultaneously; however, it is possible to predict that by the time the cat has departed from your immediate vicinity, you are going to be in urgent need of antiseptic, wound dressings, bandages, and a tetanus shot. |
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