h a l f b a k e r yMake mine a double.
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It has recently been pointed out that the Vice President
of the
USA has little in the way of actual power or function.
That is
not
true, however, during election campaigns, during which
preidential candidates must choose running mates who
they
think
will endear them to the public. Thus,
choosing a running
mate
is a
crucial decision for every candidate.
Currently, presidential debates are held between the two
main
candidates during the lead-up to the election. A vice-
presidential
debate is also held between the running mates. I suggest
that,
as
the running mate's views ultimately don't matter, this
debate
be
replaced with a televised, no-holds-barred physical
smackdown
in
which the running mates duke it out in order to win the
support
of the viewing populace. Whoever taps out of this fight
tarnishes
their campagning partner's reputation, hurting their
chances to
win on Election Day.
The result of this would be that instead of choosing
fellow
politicians, competitive presidential candidates will
choose the
largest, most physically intimidating people in America
to be
their
running mates. A whole new set of criteria - strength,
authenticity
of scars, judo mastery - will replace the old. Eventually,
it
won't
be unusual to see campaign ads for "Huckabee-Chuck
Norris
2012"
or "Clinton-Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson 2014." And that
will be a
great day for America.
[link]
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Something like this has been tried before, between
a Vice President and a former Secretary of the
Treasury. But it wasn't televised. |
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I'm wondering how compatible this would be with
the electoral tactic of choosing a woman as a
running mate. Would Sarah Palin*, for example, be
allowed a firearm? |
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I would imagine mud wrestling to be more apropos --- the sheer popularity of seeing this event live would have both rival election committees scrambling for a larger venue, such as a stadium... <here's GROG fantasizing about a front row seat again> Please remind me to bring my Bic lighter... [+] |
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I once had an idea for the leader's of other countries
to duke it out with in a pillow fight. I like your idea
better where visible bruises would be the deciding
factor. |
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I'd like to see a Palin / Cheney duel. That would have
to be a win-win for America regardless of the
outcome. |
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You're right, there's not enough idiocy involved in
the US electoral system yet. |
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Vice presidents will be selected on the basis of
ability at showmanship and intimidation. This will put
non-politicians in the white house and if there's any
presidential stuff at least they'll be able to make good
speeches and stare down diplomats. Furthermore the
president gets a highly qualified non military
bodyguard. (+) |
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