Presidential Debate, Vice-Presidential Smackdown

It has recently been pointed out that the Vice President of the USA has little in the way of actual power or function. That is not true, however, during election campaigns, during which preidential candidates must choose running mates who they think will endear them to the public. Thus, choosing a running mate is a crucial decision for every candidate.

Currently, presidential debates are held between the two main candidates during the lead-up to the election. A vice- presidential debate is also held between the running mates. I suggest that, as the running mate's views ultimately don't matter, this debate be replaced with a televised, no-holds-barred physical smackdown in which the running mates duke it out in order to win the support of the viewing populace. Whoever taps out of this fight tarnishes their campagning partner's reputation, hurting their chances to win on Election Day.

The result of this would be that instead of choosing fellow politicians, competitive presidential candidates will choose the largest, most physically intimidating people in America to be their running mates. A whole new set of criteria - strength, authenticity of scars, judo mastery - will replace the old. Eventually, it won't be unusual to see campaign ads for "Huckabee-Chuck Norris 2012" or "Clinton-Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson 2014." And that will be a great day for America.