Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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Ouch Bumpers

sound reactive bumpers
  (+9, -2)
(+9, -2)
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Car bumpers that activate pre-recorded exclamations of pain and indignation when struck with sufficient force.
xenzag, Jul 24 2007

[link]






       ... and proclaim "Whiplash Lawsuit!"
Jinbish, Jul 24 2007
  

       "Doh!" dough [+]
marklar, Jul 24 2007
  

       I would have thought that the "thwack" of the bumper would override any audible exclamations of pain. Besides, you'd be yelling/bellowing and steaming from your lugholes.(Could make an addition to bumper cars though)
skinflaps, Jul 24 2007
  

       Make the sound proportional to the severtity of impact, varying from "oops" to the sound of a piano falling on Wiley E. Coyote.
nuclear hobo, Jul 24 2007
  

       There's a thought.Strap upright pianos to the front and back bumpers.
skinflaps, Jul 24 2007
  
      
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