Neodymium knickers

The powerful magnetic properties of neodymium afford underwear manufacturers the opportunity to incorporate appropriate magnets into the front and rear of the garment. The front has the north pole facing inwards whilst the rear has the south pole facing inwards.

The samarium suppository is in fact made of samarium cobalt, another powerful magnet. When inserted correctly, with the south pole inwards, the user is assured of the correct underwear orientation. Incorrect orientation results in an embarrassing magnetic bulge in the rear.

Future products for gentlemen include the cobalt cock-ring, again made of samarium cobalt. In this case, bulging is desired.

Painful twisting, flipping and pinching have been reported as the magnets attempt to orient themselves at the expense of intervening flesh. Care is also needed in close proximity to other users.