When you are shaving with this razor,
Powered with electricity,
You will be amazed at its low, low price
And unique functionality!
FIRST - it chops off the little hairs
That grow up on your face,
Or if you are a hairy one,
In that other place.
SECOND - it sucks
the little bits,
Full of keratins,
Into a grinder that purees them up
And mixes with glycerins.
THIRD - it spits them right back out
Onto your fresh skin,
And with little massaging nubbins,
rubs it all back in!
FOURTH - that's it! no more! it's done!
The process is complete!
All your hairs transformed to cream,
And your face all neat!
FIFTH - You fend off all the ladies,
except if you are a dad!
Because you should respect your wife,
And flirting can be bad!