Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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MesiahILF

Pick up strategy
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dating strategy: walk up to random people on the street that you become progressively selective about, and say to them, "hold my hand" and then hold their hand really gently and look deeply into their eyes and don't blink until they look away first and then have a catch phrase like "it's the real thing" that you can implant into people's consciousness right after they've fallen in love with you. Some of them will fall in love with you and eventually you will have a large harem of followers and you will be scoring all over the place. Fuck Yeah!
JesusHChrist, Sep 09 2017

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       Hmmm. Let us know how this works out for you.
8th of 7, Sep 09 2017
  

       Well, the Beatles just sang about holding hands and look at the reaction they got.   

       Your idea makes me think of robot girlfriends. The subtle interplay of hands during handholding could be described with a deep learning model, so that the robot girlfriend was at 99th percentile or higher of being good at holding hands, with gentle squeezes, etc. causing holding hands with them to be better that the real thing almost all the time.   

       If these were ancient days of yore, when VR gloves were the talk of the computer world, you could have a beatlesesque strategy. Lets say 1 out of 300 persons that listened to the beatles around 1962 got tremendous crushes on them, and then became the actually hysterical ly romantic crowds at shows playing "I wanna hold your hand."   

       Then the thing is to automate hand holding with a million people simultaneously to generate a few thousand swooning crushes. If VR gloves had caught on, you could literally hold hands with that many people.
beanangel, Sep 09 2017
  

       Sorry, I don't want to know the knowledge tricks. I want it to happen naturally.
wjt, Sep 09 2017
  

       Sp. MessiahILF
pertinax, Sep 09 2017
  

       Sp. Accidentally
pertinax, Sep 09 2017
  

       PS: There's a difference between, on the one hand, a process involving another person's un-manipulated input and, on the other hand, an accident. People who can't see that difference are known as psychopaths.
pertinax, Sep 09 2017
  

       //There is NOT a special someone out there just for you, that when you meet, you'll fall instantly in love, and birds will be singing and shit//   

       Don't be too sure of that. Except for the birds singing part. Not much birdsong in winter around here.   

       So, like twenty some years ago now I'm in line at the grocery store with my best friend at the time and I lock gazes with a woman three aisles over that makes me forget myself for a few seconds. It wasn't her looks, I hadn't spoken with her, could have already been married for all I knew.
I elbowed my buddy in the ribs and said, "See that chick over there? I'm going to be with her for a very long time." He tells me to fuck off and we both go back to standing in line.
Later in the week I'm tiling this guys fireplace and he's grilling me to the point where I wonder if he's trying to date me when he says, "You should meet my daughter."
I'm ok with this and more than a little relieved to learn what was up with the interrogation.
He tells her that he met someone that needs a bookkeeper and sets up a meeting.
I had no idea he was the father of the woman from the store.
  

       We've been married for seventeen years now.   

       // birds will be singing and shit //   

       Actually, that's a fair representation of about half of what most birds do, the other half being eating and making more birds.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2017
  

       Yeah you'd think that Jesus would know how to spell Messiah.
RayfordSteele, Sep 11 2017
  

       And Elf.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2017
  

       //We've been married for seventeen years now.// That's impressive, congratulations. I didn't even know you could keep a woman sedated for that length of time.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 11 2017
  

       fine
JesusHChrist, Sep 11 2017
  

       Note to the interested: There are things called cuddle parties, where people make out, but do not have sex. You can go to meetup.com search cuddle party and find one, perhaps in your city.
beanangel, Sep 11 2017
  

       //sedated//   

       sp: satisfied   

       // Note to the interested: There are things called cuddle parties //   

       We're not interested. The Collective is one huge, continuous cuddle party.
8th of 7, Sep 11 2017
  

       Unh unh
JesusHChrist, Sep 12 2017
  

       Now that just took a turn for the creepy...
RayfordSteele, Sep 12 2017
  

       Agreed.   

       Although... if the Borg are all connected and orgasm simultaneously the perhaps we can remodulate the forward full frontal array to cause a temporal-spatial anomaly inducing a multiple Borgasm lasting long enough to penetrate their shields captain!   

       //sp. accidently//   

       sp. inconsequentially unless cars, collisions or humorous falls are involved.
wjt, Sep 13 2017
  

       //keep a woman sedated//   

       Actually not that funny. Fishbone for that annotation, [MB].
pertinax, Sep 16 2017
  

       //I see many lonely good people who wallow here. //   

       That's a good point, [limpnotes]. I think there is a distinction between, on the one hand, taking action to become more attractive and, on the other hand, being manipulative, but it's a subtle one. For example, one person might bring flowers with the thought "if I were her, I might like to be brought flowers in this situation". Another might do so with the thought "If I bring flowers then that should induce a small oxytocin rush which will help me get into her knickers later." Objectively, the action is the same, but the latter case is manipulative, whereas the former is not.   

       I actually wrote a short book (many years ago now) to help precisely those lonely good people, but it always worried me that the same advice intended to help them could also empower stupid bad people.
pertinax, Sep 16 2017
  

       // to help precisely those lonely good people, but it always worried me that the same advice intended to help them could also empower stupid bad people. //   

       The Law of Unintended Consequences strikes again ...   

       What about stupid good people, and lonely bad people ? Do they get a say ?   

       The cop who gives you a speeding ticket is the same cop who catches the guy who stole your car. The chemical that relives your dying parent's agonizing pain is the same one that kids abuse on the street. The high-speed datalink that keeps you in touch with your children also allows a predatory paedophile to target your niece ...   

       Everything has a downside. Everything is capable of being repurposed for evil.   

       Any suggestions as to how to fix this ?*   

       *This question is not rhetorical.
8th of 7, Sep 17 2017
  

       "Any suggestions as to how to fix this ?*"   

       Kind of, from the perspective of computers people move very very slowly. Having everything on video, and having robots completely "nannyize" humans could actually block all unintended effects. The Chinese with their "people score" linked to computers that read emotions, if not minds, could make all associations pleasant.   

       Another possibility is nanotechnology with 1 person 1 planet and robot girlfriends.
beanangel, Sep 17 2017
  

       Unh unh!
JesusHChrist, Sep 17 2017
  

       // Kind of, from the perspective of computers people move very very slowly. Having everything on video, and having robots completely "nannyize" humans could actually block all unintended effects. The Chinese with their "people score" linked to computers that read emotions, if not minds, could make all associations pleasant. //   

       Then all humans will be unsatisfied with life and become depressed because they don't have independence. Also, isn't that what VIKI wanted to do in I, Robot?
notexactly, Feb 03 2018
  
      
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