h a l f b a k e r yVeni, vedi, fish velocipede
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After the failure of feeding cats on an iron-rich diet, I came to the conclusion that a snugly fitting kevlar mesh harness with bar magnets attached is the solution.
This has several possible usages, when putting kitty on the doorstep at night you can be sure of his/her safety as the front doorstep
has an iron plate on it. For flat dwellers, an iron plate on the front door is fine.
Also you don't need a cat-box to transport your feline to the vets or something, simply wear an iron plate under your trousers and the feline is attached at hip level, at the front is better, as less likely to sit on him/her.
The magnets can also be used for feline entertainment, just train the cat to use the linear accelerator to easily catch speedy mice, or birds on the wing.
I expect attitudes on this idea may be be polarized.
Techno-AssistiCat
http://www.theguard...ist-amsterdam-video
Cats with electromagnetic assistance - the sky's not the limit! [lurch, Jul 17 2014]
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Annotation:
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I will admit that as someone who is basically disinterested in cats, I find myself attracted to this idea. |
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The juxtaposition of "magnetic cat" and "linear accelerator" in this
idea elevates it to the status of an all-time great. [+] |
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[8th] you are forgetting, perhaps, that as particles
are accelerated to higher speeds, their lifetime
increases, as does their mass. At some point you
would have a massive cat which would outlive you. |
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//at the front is betterbetter, as less likely to sit on him/her// |
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A detachable magnetic live cat sporran then? |
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Shouldn't this be under <Fashion: Codpiece>? |
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As expected annotator's views are poles apart.. |
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//perhaps, that as particles are accelerated to higher speeds |
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Using the linear accelerators above the speed of sound might seem like a good idea at the time, in order for Tiddles to maul some high-flying geese, but may result in having to buy a new cat. |
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The interlock is specifically borg-proofed, having a left-handed thread, gets them every time.. |
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I'm giving an unsure bun here. As long as the cat is
not harmed, I would find it useful for my 22 lb. cat
who cannot really fit into a cat-carrier! If I could have
the magnetic plate on my car seat, I could take him
to the vet more easily. |
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// Using the linear accelerators above the speed of sound might seem
like a good idea // |
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To avoid damage to the cat as a result of air turbulence and
resistance (which is, of course, futile), we propose mounting the entire
accelerator assembly around a very long evacuated barrel, sorry tube. |
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The magnetised cat will be forced, sorry placed, into the breech, sorry
access hatch, and the air will then be evacuated. A thin membrane at
the muzzle, sorry far end, will prevent air entering but will rupture
lethally, sorry harmlessly, when the cat splats into, sorry passes
through it. |
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As my esteemed colleague [MaxwellBuchanan]
pointed out, accelerating a cat sufficiently will just
make it massive and longer lived. Is that what you
had in mind? |
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We are satisfied, having revisited the equations, that accelerating the
cat up to a mere 0.1 C will achieve the desired results without
incurring the penalty of relativistic effects. |
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A 5kg cat travelling at 3 x 10^7 m/sec and then decelerating
instantaneously to rest undergoes an entirely satisfactory state
change for the purposes of the experiment. |
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Call me pedantic, if you will, but there is a bit of a flaw in the category name, is that us providing entertainment to the cats, or the other way around? |
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//a very long evacuated barrel, sorry tube.// |
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Riding the Fe line express. Their time is meow! |
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Are you referring to the "Santa" Fe Line express, which simultaneously is a bad pun, and the earliest recorded mentioning of Santa in the year*.... |
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Actually there are some ads around here with Santa now, and it's only just mid-July..bah humbug etc |
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*there is a claws in the contract covering this kind of thing |
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On the other hand, Siamagnetic effects would be
useful to keep them away, especially in Thailand. |
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My favorite color for cats is magneta. |
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//keep them away, especially in Thailand |
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Oddly enough, never saw any Siamese cats in Thailand....spooky... |
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Me neither, perhaps if I had ever been there it would be a different story though. |
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The "Siamese" cat was actually developed in Colchester in
the 1820's through '50s, primarily by Ernest Brumbage. The
first "Siamese" was a mutant or "sport", one of a litter of
seven born as a result of a miscagenation between one of
his female show-cats and an unknown feral tom. Over the
following years, he bred (and inbred) from this sport to
produce what he called "the Oriental". |
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Brumbage died a broken man, however, because his
"Orientals" were not recognised in his lifetime by the
Governing Council of the Cat Fancy, the feline equivalent
of the Kennel Club in the UK. |
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sp. Edward Blencowe Gould, the British Consul-General in Bangkok. |
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Spent a year out there working in Smallville Petchaburi province, fine if you don't mind going home no later than 8.30pm, as that's when the packs of semi-feral dogs wake up... |
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That's why you don't see too many cats.... |
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Yes, and that why your humble narrator spent the 2nd to the 6th Sunday evenings of being there in a hospital being given rabies jabs due to the attentions of the aforementioned semi-feral dogs. |
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But I'm not one gauss about it. |
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Ouch! I was luckier when I went running and came
across a pack of 20 or so on some waste ground.
They surrounded me, and I literally forced myself to
keep walking confidently to the other side. More luck
than judgement, I'm sure. |
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Must have been my non-magnetic personality. |
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