h a l f b a k e r y"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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Mice (and rats) are the most common mammals on
Earth,
numbering even more than humans. Because of this we
kill them in massive numbers, largely because we can't
stand competition for the resources we both use...
mostly
food.
UBCo's Better Mousetrap is a veritable vermin Valhalla,
with
massive supplies of fast food for our furry friends,
laced with appetite enhancers and sterility supplements.
Widescreen video feeds run 24/7, featuring partially
shaven, nubile mouseketeers, pole-dancing and running
on
treadmills to entertain males, while female mice and
rats
admire parades of muscular Mus musculus and randy
Rattus rattus with bulging scrotal sacs, while the
reprehensible rodents quickly gorge themselves to
peaceful oblivion.
Soon, like us, they'll be distracted to death by free bread
and cheap circus tricks. Once word gets around we'll
soon
have the place to ourselves.
*(Any similarities, in the idea description, to modern
human society and its manipulation by our political
masters is purely coincidental and um, unintentional.)
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Annotation:
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// Is This A Better Mousetrap? // |
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I agree. However, I'm tired of removing the stiff,
bloodied carcasses of rats and mice from traps around
our place. The only upside to the current vermin
plague where I live is the 10-11ft Carpet Python that
has taken up residence in the shed, and is eating the
rats faster than they can take over the place. |
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Welcome home Mr Bubba [+] |
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//RT @KingRat @UB on to us, we attack at dawn! |
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A wonderful addition to the mousetrap collection.
Yay! |
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I think its "Rattus Norvegicus" round these parts, fella!.
Whist our Swedish cousins distract us by being silly/attractive in equal measure and the Finns simply loll around not getting sarcasm the Norwegians are taking over the world.
Something must be done! |
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//I think its "Rattus Norvegicus" round these parts, fella!// Australia has both; but I think you're more likely to see norvegicus, especially around buildings. |
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That may be, [spidey], but I'm on ten acres in the
country and our rats are most likely to be Black Rats
(Rattus rattus), rather than the Scandinavian
"berserkers" of our cities and ports. |
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R. rattus do better in warmer climates, too, so you're probably right. They're both delicious. |
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There's a restaurant in Beijing that serves only rat
dishes. I'd like to visit it someday. |
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Eating pest species is underrated in the West, but it does solve at least two problems. |
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I'm not sure politicians would taste so good... all that
bitterness and bullshit... |
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//"Rattus Norvegicus"// No, it's Rattus Bubbus, it clearly says so at the end of the idea, just before the date. |
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Not even if we give them little cloven hoofs first? |
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