h a l f b a k e r yIf ever there was a time we needed a bowlologist, it's now.
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Gone are the days of menial whacking and hacking meat and vegetables, of hashing and hewing fruit, nuts and bread crumbs. The hovering chopper is here to take the work out of shearing, sundering and dissevering. With one hand on the food and the other or both holding the knife steady, the traversing,
bouncing board does the rest.
To use, press down on the suction cup lever anchoring the block to the counter or table. Use voice commands to initiate slice thickness, height, direction, speed and slice or dice, or just say default, an adjustable setting which could mean Œ slices, from 2 above the board, moving the board left to right, 2 slices per second and the slice setting. Dice means the board will return after one traverse, rotate 90 degrees and start a second pass through.
When youre prepared with the knife, the command Hopping Chopping Block start! in a loud, clear voice will cause the amazing appliance to auto-cleave, cube and mince to your hearts content.
[link]
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C.A.R.K! (By the way, does anyone see my thumb anywhere?) |
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There are uncountably many ways in which this could go horribly wrong. I like it. |
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This has killing potential rivaling automatic seatbelts! |
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Caution:- Avoid using recipes and/or ingredients that use names of body parts. Ingrdients and Recipes that should not be referred to whilst using the Hopping Chopping Block include (but are not limited to):- Head Cheese, Fish Finger, Spotted Dick, Mince Meat, Meat Balls ..... |
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I see [FarmerJohn] won the bid for Disney. It's gonna be a whole new small world after all... + |
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It's hard to draw with three fingers. |
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