h a l f b a k e r yRight twice a day.
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Dishwashers contain rotors which spray their content
with water. These rotors are on the inside of the
dishwasher. Helicopters bear rotors which enable them
to fly and steer. These rotors are on top of and at the
back of the helicopter. Hovercraft bear rotors which
enable them to float
and steer. These rotors are
underneath and at the back of the hovercraft.
Therefore, dishwashers, helicopters and hovercraft are
all rather similar. They differ only in the power and
configuration of their rotors. Make a helicopter out of
rubber or other elastic material. Give it a kind of collar
or skirt which can be folded up over the main rotor and
turn it upside down and you have a hovercraft, provided
you can also twist round the tail rotor so that it's on the
back facing back so you can steer it. Turn the entire
arrangement inside out so that the back rotor is facing
inwards, give it a door and plumb it into a water system
and you could have a dishwasher, given that it has holes
for spraying the interior. Reverse the direction of the
rotors in hovercraft configuration and you have a
vacuum cleaner. Increase the power and you have a
boring device. Reverse the dishwasher and you have a
device for making clean washing up dirty again. If you
want to.
Obviously this would be quite large, so it might be best
to provide hose attachments and keep it on your helipad
if you did want to use it as a vacuum cleaner, plus you
would have to do a lot of washing up at once to fill what
would be a shed-sized dishwasher, before you wanted to
go anywhere or clean the house. But, you could do
everything with one device and it would save space.
Otherwise you'd have to find a garage for your
hovercraft AND helicopter and room inside your home
for your dishwasher AND vacuum cleaner. This way it
motivates you to do the washing up before you go on a
trip and stuff.
[link]
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//and you have a boring device// <yawn> |
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//Obviously this would be quite large, so it might be best to
provide hose attachments and keep it on your helipad if you
did want to use it as a vacuum cleaner, plus you would have
to do a lot of washing up at once to fill what would be a
shed-sized dishwasher, before you wanted to go anywhere or
clean the house.// |
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Pshaw. Inspector Gadget could probably do all that with
just what was tucked underneath his hat. And you didn't
even need to turn him inside-out. |
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Easier to have changeable bodies. Tricky though, if you want hot swapping. |
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I just like the idea of it being rubbery and flexible.
It's satisfyingly tactile. |
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That conjures up yet more disturbing mental images. |
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A combined hovercraft/helicopter is likely to be practical, and could indeed be useful; a combined hovercraft/tiltrotor, like a V22 Osprey with underslung plenum chamber would be even better. |
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As to the other options, well, there are easier ways to commit suicide, shirley ? |
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I'm working on a table with options for each of these
things along the lines of direction of rotor, medium
used and the like, because I think there are probably
a number of hitherto unexploited possibilities, such as
a wind machine and a slicing device. |
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// wind machine and a slicing device // |
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Baked; 2-seater high-wing microlight with Rotax pusher engine - unguarded 2-blade prop. |
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Student pilot stalled at 20' above field during landing flare; aircraft stopped, dropped and crumpled; instructor in rear seat went backwards thru prop. |
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Very bad. Very, very bad indeed. |
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