Halfbakery Closet Secret Hobby Horse is a specialised item that will only have true appeal to a certain type of Halfbakery addict. It works like a regular child's rocking horse, only it has been scaled up somewhat to accommodate an adult. It also possess certain other characteristics which separate it
from the "normal" hobby horse. (or any other piece of exercise apparatus)
These are listed as follows:
It's made from heavy rubber and needs to be inflated using a powerful compressor - this means that it can be brought on holiday in its special anonymous carrying bag.
A safety valve prevents it from being over-inflated and exploding, but it needs to be under high pressure to retain its shape with an adult on its back.
Once inflated it must be attached to its separate curved wooden rockers, using the clamps provided.
Instead of a horse's head, it features a fish head, with its mouth clamped down on a half eaten croissant.
At the end of its tail, clings a stuffed hamster, which lashes around with abandon when the action is vigorous enough.
That's about it. One uses it like any other hobby horse. ie rocking about the place, whooping it up, pretending you are a surreal cowboy (no spurs!), or whatever you like.
Made to order on receipt of an email and an international money order of cleared funds [to be agreed in advance, but it won't be cheap] sent to 10zag industries household equestrian dept. {rubber goods sub-division}
Comes in a plain brown box marked "sofa parts".
Novelty desktop version (made of clothes pegs) under construction.