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Gulliver's Traveller

 build a ship that looks like Gulliver
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Gulliver's Traveller is a cruise ship modelled to resemble the famous figure from the equally famous namesake story. The vessel would be powered by rapidly fluttering toes and steered by way of the hands being able to swivel outward like side fins. These would also act as stabilisers in rough sea conditions.

Passengers would travel in the abdomen with the crew quarters being in the nether regions and the controls being in the head of course. There are no advantages to Gulliver's Traveller, but who wants to travel in a block of flats on the back of an oil tanker when they can go to sea inside Gulliver?

—xenzag, Jul 19 2015

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       // who wants to travel in a block of flats on the back of an oil tanker //   

       Apart from very rich, stupid Americans, or very stupid, rich Americans, or both ?   

       Is there a difference ?   

       Is it possible that, in an infnite universe, there are Americans that aren't stupid ? (Form into groups of four and discuss your methodology and conclusions. Take notes. You may be asked questions later).
—8th of 7, Jul 19 2015
   

       //who wants to travel in a block of flats on the back of an oil tanker //   

       I did try that once. The ship was very nice, with several bars, swimming pool, decent restaurants. It seemed like a bargain when I booked it, but then when I turned up, to my horror, I found that they were letting _other people_ on board as well. I mean, really.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 19 2015
   

       Some of them didn't even have titles tracing back to William I. It's SO hard to get good staff these days.   

       Fair's fair, but after all you'd promised, letting the Intercalary loose with the grape-peeler was a trifle irresponsible. You were just lucky you were in international waters, and there were plenty of sharks to deal with the ... surplus tissue.
—8th of 7, Jul 19 2015
   

       I am considering taking up the matter with Rob Brydon, who represented the company on television advertisements. I suppose the fact that he's Welsh should have been enough warning.   

       Incidentally, the trifle was incidental to the matter. And, incidentally, speaking of incidental, we tend not to capitalize "intercalary", except in legal proceedings.   

       p.s. Sturton sends his regards and the bill.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 19 2015
   

       //stupid Americans, or very stupid, rich Americans// I have to say, that I know a few smart Americans, but the vast majority of them are significantly beyond stupidity. Not to worry. The Chinese are the new world leaders in every department.
—xenzag, Jul 19 2015
   

       I think the size ratio was 12 to 1; Gulliver was 12 times as tall as the Lilliputians, and 1/12 the size of the Brobdingnagians. Your proposed cruise ship would be too small to be accurate, in terms of the number of people it could transport.
—Vernon, Jul 19 2015
   

       It will be huge. It only needs look like Gulliver. Did I mention that it gets a hard on when coming into port?
—xenzag, Jul 19 2015
   

       So make it 864 feet long. That should be big enough.
—pocmloc, Jul 20 2015
   

       // Sturton sends his regards and the bill. //   

       Is that all ? We would be gratified if you would be so good as to bestow upon him a right ding alongside the lughole, and enquire as to the whereabouts of the rest of the platypus. We assume it has met the fate of all the previous ones.   

       A genuine Australian barbecue set was a somewhat ill-chosen birthday gift for one so literal-minded, prone to culinary eccentricity, implacably determined and - not to put too fine a point on it - criminally insane.
—8th of 7, Jul 22 2015
   

       Don't worry, you won't be receiving another.
—pocmloc, Jul 22 2015
   

       We don't want another. We didn't want the first one. The whole idea of "exotic tapas" was fundamentally flawed from the outset, and just spiralled into a fashion-victim cult of me-too one-upmanship, ostentatious spending, indigestion, and obscure internal parasites.
—8th of 7, Jul 22 2015
   

       One notes that the nationality of the Costa Concordia passenger and crew log included 989 Italians, 37 British, 565 Germans, 126 Americans, 108 Russians, etc.   

       One also notes that the population of the US is approximately 5 times that of Great Britain.   

       The proportional math here is pretty obvious, at least if you aren't British.
—RayfordSteele, Jul 24 2015
   

       //We assume it has met the fate of all the previous ones.// Au con very traire. I have it on good authority that Sturton and the intercalary have met with some success in their scheme to find an ecologically sound alternative to powdered rhino horn. They are, even now, securing their supply chain. It is, of course, regrettable that the platypus has such a small beak, but this cannot be helped.   

       Incidentally, Sturton wants to know if you've finished with his Max Bygraves LP. Also, he politely requests that you don't use it for scratching - his Des O'Connor Greatest Hits was never quite the same.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 24 2015
   

       // finished with his Max Bygraves LP. //   

       Not quite.   

       // don't use it for scratching - //   

       Oh, OK. Back to the waterboarding and electric shocks, then.   

       // his Des O'Connor Greatest Hits was never quite the same. //   

       You say that like it's somehow a bad thing ...
—8th of 7, Jul 24 2015
   

       Yes, well, _you_ weren't the one sent out in the pouring rain to get a bottle of Bazzle Vinyl-Friendly Dead Worm Remover.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 24 2015
   

       Neither were you, for that matter. You sent the second under-footman to get it. You even charged him for the rental on the umbrella and wellington boots.   

       Since he isn't paid, cutting down his rations to reclame the notional cost was a trifle harsh, even by you family's standards.   

       We presume that, as usual, you never reported his death and just had him buried in the far end of the acorn orchard, with all the others ? It must be getting fairly full up there by now.
—8th of 7, Jul 24 2015
   

       I'll have you know that the staff on all the Buchanan estates are the envy of their colleagues. Aside from generous paid leave and private health insurance, they receive danger money, and have free use of the north-north-east billiards room.   

       You may be thinking of Sturton's staff, who are under his direct control and are supplied by an agency that understands his unusual requirements.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 24 2015
   

       You have intentionally misunderhended my comment.
—MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 24 2015
   
      
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