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People like to purchase off the registry gifts for situations like baby showers, weddings, and holiday celebrations in order to be creative. Unfortunately this leads to problems like the acquisition of two copies of items that you already own, like a fondue set that you bought on your own the prior year
that your friends didn't know about, or an item that you don't plan to ever use, like a pressure cooker for someone who doesn't cook.
While it may seem rude to publicly state which gifts you don't want people to purchase for you it would be helpful to be able to request items that you definitely don't want purchased on your behalf for those people who want to provide helpful or creative gifts. At a minimum you could be providing helpful guidance to the off-registry crowd to help them avoid potential misfit gifts and succeed in delivering a gift that will make you happy.
sample registry for Macy's
http://wedding.wedd...y/ga_sample_reg.asp
[dentworth, Sep 19 2005]
[link]
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I was certainly equipped to toast a lot of bread after my wedding. |
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Culture and religion and good taste should be enough to define what not to give, such as, an Orthodox Jewish couple should not recieve a honey-baked ham.
More importantly, the best way to treat any gift is just with simple gratitude and appreciation for the GIVER. Lets stop all this materialistic, pragmatism in the gift giving seasons. |
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I think the gift-givers should use a dynamically updated registry to communicate with _each other_, without the recipients having to enter a complete list of everything they want or don't want beforehand. |
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Let's say you want to give them an outrageously overpriced dualit two- or four-slice toaster, yellow. (That's where your creativity and the stuff dentworth's going on about comes in.) |
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You check with the database, and see nobody else's bought one; you add the toaster you've picked. Next guy who wants to give them a toaster gets warned off, because they can see you're already buying one; and they get an idea of an overall retro, cheerful style that you're headed for and they could harmonize with. |
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The set of gifts is a communcal artifact; not centrally planned by the recipients, but constructed by the group of gift-givers, using asynchronous communication
via the database. |
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The author says "inappropriate gifts" and then goes on to describe redundant gifts. I think for the former my answer is better, but for the latter,this could work. But the system works pretty well on department store registries in informing buyers what has been already bought. It was a long time ago, but I think I even recorded the stuff I already had from before the engagement. |
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I think I'm done going on, now... no wait, there's a link! |
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The problem with gifts is that they go into that territory between "I just love this [whatever] and I know that X will love it" and "Y should know me well enough to know that I would *never* want [whatever]." People on both sides get terribly huffy over these things. I well remember the angst caused by asking for receipts so we could return the 3rd, 4th and 5th dinner sets we were given at my own wedding. |
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If not picking gifts from a registry, just always include one of those gift receipts. It saves a lot of embarrassment. And *never* buy *anyone* a fondue set. |
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I'm not sure that it would ever have occured to me to let anyone know I didn't need or want a pink ceramic spitoon. |
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but if Aunt Tilly in Miami sends you one, what will you do? |
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My wife's employer gave it to us, and ten years later we gave it to someone else. We filled it with goodies, unlike the employer, who could have filled it with some of her world famous chocolate chip cookies, but didn't. |
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