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It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Fresnel Men's Briefs

Objects in panel may appear larger than real life.
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Briefs with a small, flexible Fresnel lens sown into the front.

p.s. The suggestion of this idea is not to be taken as an assumption that the author needs such an item.

Cedar Park, May 04 2003

(??) works for me http://www.onr.com/user/steveh/cods.htm
If you laugh at me, I'll take mine off and beat you with it. [ato_de, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       The problem here is that there needs to be some separation before there can be magnification.
pluterday, May 04 2003
  

       if what [pluter] says is true, would a cricket box help?   

       //author need such an item// suppresses snigger.
po, May 04 2003
  

       I'm under the weather today and needed the courage of many simultaneous cold remedies to post such an idea.
Cedar Park, May 04 2003
  

       damn good idea though <snigger>
po, May 04 2003
  

       [po]: Stop sniggering! (sulks and walks away)
Cedar Park, May 04 2003
  

       I'll shut up, I don't want a slap in the face with a cold fish <g>
po, May 05 2003
  

       If there's ever another King Dick, maybe he'll have one.
thumbwax, May 05 2003
  

       [ack]: The drugs weren't for this particular porpoise. In retrospect, I'm surprised my spelling and grammar were correct.
Cedar Park, May 05 2003
  

       [pluterday] Not entirely true. One can achieve significant magnification with almost no separation. (less than 1 mm separation)
morpheus, May 06 2003
  

       How about Compound fresnel men's briefs? This would give you the appearance of a possessing a multiplicity of big dicks.
aredant, May 08 2003
  

       //possessing a multiplicity of big dicks//   

       I once had a disturbing dream involving a baker's dozen at my hips... Perhaps I shouldn't have told anyone that.
ye_river_xiv, Mar 04 2007
  

       I Say, I Say, I Say!.
I once knew a man who had 5 penises.
gnomethang, Mar 04 2007
  

       How about flesh coloured briefs with a photo of a very large member on (and a tail on the back)
marklar, Mar 04 2007
  

       //The problem here is that there needs to be some separation before there can be magnification//   

       How about a fibre-bundle magnifier? I am slightly bluffing here because I'm not quite sure what I'm talking about, *but* I believe it is possible to have a fibreoptic bundle which fans out to enlarge the image, and can do so over a very short distance.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2007
  

       You would probably want to avoid going outside in sunny weather, or you might burn your most sentitive area.
Loris, Mar 04 2007
  

       Loris: too late.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 04 2007
  

       If you can't dazzle them with your equipment, baffle them with your shorts?
nuclear hobo, Mar 05 2007
  

       Could you also use optics to change down to up ?   

       .... or up to down?   

       (Can you even dye my eyes to match my gown?)
popbottle, Jul 24 2016
  

       Fresnel-um
notexactly, Jul 26 2016
  
      
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