Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
It might be better to just get another gerbil.

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Food Contaminators

lets food makers meet their contamination limits
  (+5, -7)
(+5, -7)
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A certain amount of food contamination is permitted by law: so many rat hairs per 100g of chocolate, so many pieces of insects per 100g of coffee, so many mouse droppings per 100g of peanut butter, etc. Any food maker whose contamination levels are under those of its competitors is at a clear economic disadvantage. After all, if the legal amount of freely produced mouse poo is not in the peanut butter you're selling, the missing portion must be - valuable peanut butter. Meanwhile, your competitors are padding their product with the legal mouse poo maximum.

My idea is to introduce a manufacturing process which would measure the food's contamination level, then add as many rat hairs, weevils, or what have you, as are needed. This would stretch out the commodities involved, perhaps even resulting in savings passed along to us consumers.

[Am posting this in the Food:Packaging section because the contamination would be performed during packaging; sorry, jutta, if this is the wrong place for this idea.]

cheeselikesubstance, Jul 22 2001

Extraneous Matter Analysis for Pet Food http://www.centralh...ab.com/petfood.html
[cheeselikesubstance, Jul 22 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

The Smoking Gun http://www.thesmoki...ive/foodfilth1.html
FDA Food Filth Limits. Yum! [Rant93, Jul 22 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

[link]






       Yikes! My Sarcasmometer just went off-scale!
Dog Ed, Jul 22 2001
  

       I wonder how much coffee is allowed per 100g of insect parts.
nick_n_uit, Jul 23 2001
  

       Good God Almighty! I'm on hunger-strike as from now.
Sean Egative, Jun 20 2003
  

       mmmmmm...... 3 ants and a cocroach foot.. just how i like my PB&J sandwich
half-n-half, Mar 09 2004
  

       You first.
spacecadet, Mar 09 2004
  
      
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