Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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Flass

Butt floss.
  (+3, -7)
(+3, -7)
  [vote for,
against]

Dental floss with soft toilet paper around it, wrapped like rope around a spool. Easier to manipulate for "inside jobs" when you aren't keen on getting down 'n dirty. Probably not flushable unless made without floss. Comes with handle for no-touch operation.

Or a reusable stick that can be covered in a TP sock...

polartomato, Aug 11 2002

HalfBaked- Butt Floss! http://www.fallsoff...falls/buttfloss.htm
Awww dammit, someone has somewhat more eloquently proposed the very same thing... [polartomato, Aug 14 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       What, you don't use the rope on your hanging shower soap?
FarmerJohn, Aug 11 2002
  

       I am not going to dignify this idea with a response.   

       Oh well, croissant.
BinaryCookies, Aug 11 2002
  

       Sigh. O MFD, where art thou? There is probably no dignifying this idea- but as a public service I have posted it anyway. I know it sounds gross, but I really think there could be a very large, discreet market out there for this product. It might be a little embarrassing to buy at the checkout counter... but I think this could really revolutionize ass-wiping as we know it. I would appreciate this at those times when you cannot wash your hands after using the restroom. If I could only pry my tongue from my cheek... anybody ready to post an idea for a tongue crowbar?   

       Btw- UB, g-strings are clothing, not a hygienic device, despite their flassy appearance. They are the washable version of flass, perhaps?   

       As for sope on a roap, I don't use it. I will keep that annotation in mind the next time I pick up a soap on a roap.
polartomato, Aug 12 2002
  

       polartomato: "If only I could pry my tongue from my cheek" - H*** M*** M***** of G** - I hope you weren't that desperate to wipe your backside...
DrCurry, Aug 12 2002
  

       Oh, ugh, yuk .... I think a new HalfBakery category is needed: "Juvenile Obsession: Toilet", then all the stuff like this and Bathroom Slippers and suchlike can be dumped in it.   

       Oh, and a stinky fishbone ..... just flush it ...
8th of 7, Aug 12 2002
  

       Blissmiss: But you're paranoid about people peeking at your feet under the partitions in case they identify you as the source of a sound and/or smell ? Yeah, right ...   

       UnaBubba: " I think of G-strings as *un*hygienic devices. " Well, I think of them as components of musical instruments, actually. What's so unhygenic about that ? Can you get diseases from sharing Cellos now ?
8th of 7, Aug 12 2002
  

       +1 on the strength of the name and two-word summary alone. This just cracks me up.
iuvare, Aug 12 2002
  

       Ewww icky pun iuvare
Helium, Aug 12 2002
  

       Geez. This really is a serious idea. We've gotta have something more technically advanced than a mis-directed drinking fountain or a roll of paper.   

       Also, DrCurry, I didn't really think about the 'cheek' pun for some reason....   

       Hee hee... "cracks" me up...   

       Blissmiss: this is a dead serious idea. Toilet paper is so... pedestrian. Hemhorroid cream is icky, but necessary. And we must all be subjected to overly-descriptive ads for feminine moisturizers on TV.
polartomato, Aug 12 2002
  

       Corn cobs.
pottedstu, Aug 14 2002
  

       Shake with the right, wipe with the left.
zigness, Mar 04 2004
  

       // a reusable stick //   

       That's baked. In communal toilets like they had in ye olde days, they used this - apparently, it's where the phrase "getting the wrong end of the stick" originates...
saker, Mar 05 2004
  

       Could we have automated flassing machines that worked the flass back and forth for us? Would this maybe be something you only saw in Europe?
egads, Mar 05 2004
  


 

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